I love coming home after a long day in school to see my mom standing at the kitchen doorway smiling and asking how my day turn out. asking if i got caught in the rain and if i'm hungry. i love the feeling of being cared for and loved, and indulge in every moment of those little acts that i know i'll treasure till the end of time.. acts that i sometimes take for granted, little things like making me a cup of hot tea on a rainy day when i'm lazing around reading a book on the rocking chair. comments like 'enjoy yourself' when i call home on a late night out and 'good luck' before every exam paper. i guess these are some of the ways pple tangibalise the important intangibles...
thankful.. of being given the opportunity to be child-like forever..
On my mom's bdae, i sent an sms dedication to her favourite radio station. my dad did it too. she called me when i was on my way to school.. and i think i made myself happier than her. Just like my grandma's bdae. Gave her a nicely arranged rose hand bouquet and felt happier than i could have if i bought it for myself.
think 'you can't put perfume on others without getting some on yourself'.
The days are getting longer, nights shorter and maybe that explains my inappropriate entry. this can well be a May entry. lolx...
Oh.. do play the music file i placed at the bottom left of this page. I dun understand cantonese but this song is nice..
The projects are fast falling in place. I find myself starting to oil the gears so they dont get stuck when i have to go steam-rolling ahead.
The following phrase describes my feeling during tutorials:
[Everyone else was talking, there wasn't much left to say]
This, can also be applied to my daily encounters with pple.
AND, i always try my best-est to stand by my belief-
DO NOT SPEAK UNLESS YOU CAN IMPROVE ON SILENCE.
January 25, 2007
January 22, 2007
I finally grasp the meaning behind the phrase "People are beset with problems because they are too sober.." Had a little too much to drink last night. always thought that before i get to know what it meant, i need to first learn to like drinking, and find a way to deal with the rashes and hangover the following day.. But it seems that i can deal with both problems with that invisible limit. that's why we're always told Libras can balance.
Guess i'm a step closer to understanding why pple drink until dead drunk.. Besides postponing their problems, they get to have a great night sleep with improved blood circulation. Next time i'll do it again. just for the kuai gan.
Was in the mood for something different. All thanks to that indecisive nature of mine...
Guess i'm a step closer to understanding why pple drink until dead drunk.. Besides postponing their problems, they get to have a great night sleep with improved blood circulation. Next time i'll do it again. just for the kuai gan.
Was in the mood for something different. All thanks to that indecisive nature of mine...
January 17, 2007
Got that IQ test link thru ching's blog. That test is so inaccurate i dunno what to say. lolx. If it's accurate, i shld be somewhere doing something great and my life SHOULD be full of possibilities and opportunities. but as far as i can see, it isnt so.
Anyway, i managed to plan my timetable to a 4-day week but the minus points of this decision is that i'll have longer days in school, and more breaks in between. the break issue isnt that critical as i can slack ard, plan project meetings or what in between the 2 hours, but it's the long days that i'm worried about. For a slacker like me, it's the norm to sleep through lectures and sometimes tutorials. Therefore, i'm prepared to miss out more stuff than usual.. Let's just pray everything turns out fine.
Anyway, i'm a little depressed though i kinda expected the results. I got a C+ grade last semester. My friends were saying that they didnt do very well for last semester and they got Bs for all their modules. AND that happened to be what i am trying to aim for- not get a C, not right in the very beginning. Then again, this is deja-vu. I got a C grade in my poly first sem, and the results are similar. So i kinda got the hunch that my uni education is going to turn out just fine. maybe not as great as poly, but definitely not terrible. I took 2 level 2 modules (AGAIN) this sem and all 5 are core modules. Friends are saying i'm crazy to compete with the year 2s.. BUT they didnt realise that i'm the same age as most of those year 2 girls so they're not really very much ahead and senior as it seems. and tertiary education is as such. U have to learn to disregard all those labels and terms that scare you and affect your confidence level. if not, education is simply too tough to go on with those invisible conditions that u feel you have to meet. sometimes i take my hat off myself. lolx. Independence is now part of me. I find it alright to sign up for classes alone, without the hassle of calling up pple and asking what they choose coz ultimately, u'll get over it. I did that last semester so doing it again this sem is a breeze. U know, practice makes perfect.
Anyway, i managed to plan my timetable to a 4-day week but the minus points of this decision is that i'll have longer days in school, and more breaks in between. the break issue isnt that critical as i can slack ard, plan project meetings or what in between the 2 hours, but it's the long days that i'm worried about. For a slacker like me, it's the norm to sleep through lectures and sometimes tutorials. Therefore, i'm prepared to miss out more stuff than usual.. Let's just pray everything turns out fine.
Anyway, i'm a little depressed though i kinda expected the results. I got a C+ grade last semester. My friends were saying that they didnt do very well for last semester and they got Bs for all their modules. AND that happened to be what i am trying to aim for- not get a C, not right in the very beginning. Then again, this is deja-vu. I got a C grade in my poly first sem, and the results are similar. So i kinda got the hunch that my uni education is going to turn out just fine. maybe not as great as poly, but definitely not terrible. I took 2 level 2 modules (AGAIN) this sem and all 5 are core modules. Friends are saying i'm crazy to compete with the year 2s.. BUT they didnt realise that i'm the same age as most of those year 2 girls so they're not really very much ahead and senior as it seems. and tertiary education is as such. U have to learn to disregard all those labels and terms that scare you and affect your confidence level. if not, education is simply too tough to go on with those invisible conditions that u feel you have to meet. sometimes i take my hat off myself. lolx. Independence is now part of me. I find it alright to sign up for classes alone, without the hassle of calling up pple and asking what they choose coz ultimately, u'll get over it. I did that last semester so doing it again this sem is a breeze. U know, practice makes perfect.
January 16, 2007
January 14, 2007
My phone contact list totally wiped out due to the 'unlikely event that my ** product needs service', as the warranty card states... talk about suayness. AND this happened on New Year's day, when it is supposed to be a day of new beginnings, and coincidently shortly after my post on 'stupid thought of losing my phone just so as to clear contact list without going thru them one by one'. talking about coincidences.. the book i happen to borrow has this saying:
"Either the world is full of coincidences or there no such thing as a coincidence."
It seems so much like a big fat joke. just that i'm not laughing. so pls pple, when u drop me an sms, do include ur name as well. i'm already quite sick of explaining what happened. spare me the torture of going thru it again. thanks.
Sch's started and i'm all ready. how i wished i could say that without the guilt tugging at my heart and my subconscious (preconscious actually) chiding me for even wanting to say that white lie. I'm so not prepared to take all 5 biz core modules this sem. But shouldnt i start building up confidence before i embark on true adulthood where i can go watch Borat without thinking how nice it can be to go watch it on film instead of reading those damn reviews.
anyway, to lighter subjects.. i've finished reading this book titled 'Snow Flower and the Secret Fan' by Lisa See. I aint a great fan of novels but happened to grab this book without even glancing thru the backcover. guess it's one of the animism-take-center days where inanimate objects seem to will u to do certain things.. like the excuse pple always give when they buy stuff on impulse. it's the 'i-just-have-to-get-it--the-dress/bag/shoes-is-asking-me-to-take-it-home' kinda situation.. digressing a little.. anyway, that book is great. perfect for the weekend.
every ending is just a beginning and learning to seek newpaths when u reach dead end. Guess with one week into the semester, i'll just have to get going till i'm done with it. and look forward to term break! yeah. talk about optimism.
"Either the world is full of coincidences or there no such thing as a coincidence."
It seems so much like a big fat joke. just that i'm not laughing. so pls pple, when u drop me an sms, do include ur name as well. i'm already quite sick of explaining what happened. spare me the torture of going thru it again. thanks.
Sch's started and i'm all ready. how i wished i could say that without the guilt tugging at my heart and my subconscious (preconscious actually) chiding me for even wanting to say that white lie. I'm so not prepared to take all 5 biz core modules this sem. But shouldnt i start building up confidence before i embark on true adulthood where i can go watch Borat without thinking how nice it can be to go watch it on film instead of reading those damn reviews.
anyway, to lighter subjects.. i've finished reading this book titled 'Snow Flower and the Secret Fan' by Lisa See. I aint a great fan of novels but happened to grab this book without even glancing thru the backcover. guess it's one of the animism-take-center days where inanimate objects seem to will u to do certain things.. like the excuse pple always give when they buy stuff on impulse. it's the 'i-just-have-to-get-it--the-dress/bag/shoes-is-asking-me-to-take-it-home' kinda situation.. digressing a little.. anyway, that book is great. perfect for the weekend.
every ending is just a beginning and learning to seek newpaths when u reach dead end. Guess with one week into the semester, i'll just have to get going till i'm done with it. and look forward to term break! yeah. talk about optimism.
January 01, 2007
This marks the end of a year and the start of the next.
While striving to live life to the fullest, let's just believe in the following:
- To live for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top.
- If you wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes. If you don't wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes.
- We can't stop the waves, but we can learn to surf.
- We spend 99% of our time walking towards our goals, and only 1% on the goal itself… so shouldn't we learn to enjoy the walking, too??
- It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.
- We do not remember days, we remember moments.
- The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.
In this time and age where we bank on efficiency, time-pressure comes into place naturally in our daily lives, so much so that we go steam-rolling ahead without stopping. I try to bear in mind that doing more things faster is no substitute for doing the right things and am still working on speaking at a slower rate and regulating emotions though I don't seem to be succeeding.
Sometime back, I read some book reviews and noted the following sentence:
"I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear."- Joan Didion
Seems like everyone is trying to find sanity through words, in this ever-changing world.
Another excerpt:
"From day to day, as you walk down a busy street in the large and modern and prosperous city in which you work and live, dismayed, puzzled… at how alone you feel in this crowd, and how awful it is to go unnoticed, how awful to go unloved, even as you are surrounded by more people than you could possibly get to know in a lifetime that lasted for millennia. One da that awful feeling of displacement comes over you... Being ordinary is already so taxing, and being ordinary takes all you have out of you.." (Jamaica Kincaid: A small place)
-This, describes the exact feeling of helplessness and loneliness…
I guess I've much fate with Taoism and Buddhism much more than the rest. But that doesn't mean I don't believe in others. When the school's Dharma club's booth was up for that particular day outside the library, I happened to past by and took this book which teaches the everyday stuff.
It mentioned that the first challenge is to put out my own fire as one who is on fire is more likely to spread fire with what he touches than to put them out. (people asking for advice/ people needing help. Just like the SJAB D-ABC way. Check for Danger, check Airways, Breathing, and Circulation.. lolx)
Many things matter a lot to me but I still take them lightly. It's not as if I have an indifferent attitude. It just means that I take things in my stride. Somehow I've managed to convince myself that nothing is permanent, as hard as I may try. Coz how can anything I hold on to remain the same when even I myself, the holder, change?.
So as nothing is materially substantial, we shouldn’t constantly look for 'substance' in life.
So a perfect answer to the question:
Being alone is just being alone.
Being lonely is being unhappy about being alone.
Oh.. And one of the reasons why I love rainy days is just that rain is the only thing that binds Heaven and Earth. So right now, I can just imagine you sitting in front of the monitor nodding/ saying "Oh ya! Aha! I see!"
Cheers, to a better year!
While striving to live life to the fullest, let's just believe in the following:
- To live for some future goal is shallow. It's the sides of the mountain that sustain life, not the top.
- If you wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes. If you don't wait for tomorrow, tomorrow comes.
- We can't stop the waves, but we can learn to surf.
- We spend 99% of our time walking towards our goals, and only 1% on the goal itself… so shouldn't we learn to enjoy the walking, too??
- It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters in the end.
- We do not remember days, we remember moments.
- The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.
In this time and age where we bank on efficiency, time-pressure comes into place naturally in our daily lives, so much so that we go steam-rolling ahead without stopping. I try to bear in mind that doing more things faster is no substitute for doing the right things and am still working on speaking at a slower rate and regulating emotions though I don't seem to be succeeding.
Sometime back, I read some book reviews and noted the following sentence:
"I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear."- Joan Didion
Seems like everyone is trying to find sanity through words, in this ever-changing world.
Another excerpt:
"From day to day, as you walk down a busy street in the large and modern and prosperous city in which you work and live, dismayed, puzzled… at how alone you feel in this crowd, and how awful it is to go unnoticed, how awful to go unloved, even as you are surrounded by more people than you could possibly get to know in a lifetime that lasted for millennia. One da that awful feeling of displacement comes over you... Being ordinary is already so taxing, and being ordinary takes all you have out of you.." (Jamaica Kincaid: A small place)
-This, describes the exact feeling of helplessness and loneliness…
I guess I've much fate with Taoism and Buddhism much more than the rest. But that doesn't mean I don't believe in others. When the school's Dharma club's booth was up for that particular day outside the library, I happened to past by and took this book which teaches the everyday stuff.
It mentioned that the first challenge is to put out my own fire as one who is on fire is more likely to spread fire with what he touches than to put them out. (people asking for advice/ people needing help. Just like the SJAB D-ABC way. Check for Danger, check Airways, Breathing, and Circulation.. lolx)
Many things matter a lot to me but I still take them lightly. It's not as if I have an indifferent attitude. It just means that I take things in my stride. Somehow I've managed to convince myself that nothing is permanent, as hard as I may try. Coz how can anything I hold on to remain the same when even I myself, the holder, change?.
So as nothing is materially substantial, we shouldn’t constantly look for 'substance' in life.
So a perfect answer to the question:
Being alone is just being alone.
Being lonely is being unhappy about being alone.
Oh.. And one of the reasons why I love rainy days is just that rain is the only thing that binds Heaven and Earth. So right now, I can just imagine you sitting in front of the monitor nodding/ saying "Oh ya! Aha! I see!"
Cheers, to a better year!
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