what can i do if all my must-dos are done? find more?

read in this book that

[ when your 'there' has become a 'here,' you will simply obtain a 'there' that will look better to you than your present 'here.' ]

but is it as simple as it seems?

i really hope i can find more MUSTs soon.. that's the only problem people with realistic goals has... =P

been working underground for so long i cant remember the last raining day.
really felt like some hedgehog in its burrow.
and i'm really not giving in to panadol, clarinase, or whatever sophisticated names you give...

pls, no calling my name.

really wished i am where my bro is now..

he's enjoying life in HTM when i got out of it..

can i restart my poly life?

i want to relive this experience once again..

meet everyone again..

dont even mind studying CSA and MBS again..

just turn back the time..

hurt myself while having lunch and didnt seem to pick up my spirits to have fun after that..

lesson of the day is to eat slowly..

and i haven get round to congratulate myself on being very decisive on certain things... all thanks to sam..

monday blues tomorrow. i dont think i have a blue outfit to match.. juz hope i dun see black and red anywhere...

pls, pls, pls dun call my name...

aint going to complain about work coz i'm in no position to change the situaiton at work and grumbling wont help to make payday come faster.

have been up to A LOT of things lately.. things like wasting my youth and draining my energy level, testing my patience and controlling my temper.. trying to make everything run smoothly by adding lubricants to the machine but well, instead of fuss-free operations, i realised that i got to do cleaning up on top of the workload.. what crap.. amazed by my own stupidity..

aint really counting down to my last day coz i can quit anytime, on 24 hours notice.. that kinda spoil the fun of waiting for an end to a phase in life.. whatever it is, please let friday come faster.. and please dont call my name.

walk along the scales

If there's one thing i want to learn this lifetime, it is nothing but the ability to see for myself what i see in others.

People have taken a liking to tell me things that i don't really want to know recently.. things that they don't like to see in others yet when they reacted in a similar way during that situation, it must be because they have a good reason for doing so. the more i listened to these talks, the more i start to dislike myself.. why am i beginning to be influenced by them? by their indirect way of promoting themselves in a good light, so much so that the more i think, the more their talks shape my perception.. soon, i wont have the ability to judge for myself what i think is right. is this the way things should turn out?

We often overlook our weaknesses and faults, only to focus on our strengths and presenting them favourably. many times, somehow or another, we see in others the things others dont want to let know. it's as if the more they try to hide it, the easier it is for others to know. things shouldnt be the exact opposite either.. we can't just drown in what we think are our worse traits, blindly follow and look up to what others think is good and right.

it is impossible to achieve a balance.
the only thing we can do is to walk along the scales...
walk with me, wont you..

The flower and the sword.

There's this chinese saying about the flower and the sword.
The whole story is actually about perceptions..
take for example:

We passed by each other and he stole a glance at me. Usually this is not a big deal but depending on my mood today, his glance felt different somehow. It's either
1) Does that mean he likes me? --> elated
2) Why is he staring at me? --> so rude! spoil my mood!

It may well be nothing but a mere eye contact in that instance but it can also be an incident that you wll not forget so soon.

Whether somehting is positive or negative depends on your perception. It is watever you think it is..

The world is a mirror.. one that reflects the shadow of your soul.. glance into infinity..

luck and friend?

Been living in a spaced out zone ever since i got back. have a million and one thing to say about the trip but shant turn this entry into a pensieve like space...

feeling overwhelmed by all the luck that is coming my way recently.. so much so that i fear what is coming my way in the future. rather silly worrying over nothing.. it's like the after-camera-flash effect. exposure to too much brightness can cause ur world to dim..

being wanted is a good feeling.. knowing that u match up to those brighter kids sure make me feel good.. done what i've wanted to show and prove since high school.. tested and proven..

they told me there's a vacancy for a position i've wanted.. executive/ management level. under corporate rather than hotel branch. get to travel quite a fair bit.. fabulous opportunity.. or should i say really a once in a lifetime chance. and what makes me happy is that they'd rather have me than some 'bimbo who cant even work.' but seriously speaking, i'm rather upset with all the labelling of 'bimbos' and such on HTM peeps.. i cant disagree with them coz some of them do portray that impression.. am glad i dont belng to the gang. again, the feeling of being 'ken ding'.. now i know why those mediacorp artistes say it's a priviledge to be 'ken ding'. regardless of whether they get the award or not..

1st day of work i met the Indonesia public holiday.. seems like lady luck is always with me.. only about 1/3 of the workload.. met my Primary school buddy in the bus and had a short chat.. when was the last time i meet up with old friends?

and when will i learn to be contented with what life brings.. to take things in my stride.. to not bother myself with unnecessary burdens that shouldnt be mine to bear in the first place. now, i need some advise.. some wisdom from someone, something. some signage in this directionless world. more gravity to hold things in place.. particularly my thoughts..

i need a friend?

I really have no idea why I turn out like I am now.. Had plenty of fun for the past week and BY RIGHT, I SHOULD be contented.. I am not.. raised my voice at my sis today and felt like going back to Taipei again.. back to the total freedom and no responsibility zone whereby i have control over everything.. such selfish thought huh..

Finally bought Inniskillin.. something i've always wanted ever since the last and only FHA i've been to.. i guess i've spent like 900 bucks in a week.. gosh.. time i start earning..

had fun trying to identify singaporeans from the crowd in ximending.. i zoom in on groups wearing jeans of ONE colour, slippers or sports shoes, and simple dressing.. meaning no flashy pants, tops, caps, bags.. definately no bling bling.. then we walk closer trying to hear them speak.. once they say sth like 'lah' 'i see' or more than one language in a sentence, then confirm guarantee plus sompa is singaporeans... that's a lot of fun.. after so many days of practise, we're beginning to speak like them.. 'dui ar' 'huan ying guan ling' 'bu hao yi si'.. lolx.. they dont apologise there.. they say 'bu hao yi si'..

cosy hotel room.. great tv programs, fantastic food, plenty of shopping.. best of time.. wait till i have more money...