The older we get, the more we learn to let go, or the more we should learn to hold on?

Like Tina's new blogskin. The header is:

Some of us think holding on makes us strong;
but sometimes it is letting go.

Have that in many of my entries. Holding on or letting go.
Haven't i mention that letting go has been one of my major weaknesses?
and recently I've been thinking if both are actually on the same side of the scales.

This study week marks yet another of the end of the semester period. Another phase in life i know I'll soon bid farewell to. Another left-to-fret-in-future problem regarding the semi-annual tuition loan.

Seems like besides enjoyment, studying is just one payment after another. Despite the fact that i am optimistic about the future, i still find that piece of paper rather worthless. At the end of it all, i might be pretty much the same as what i was. If it's not for the fortune of being born in a superficial society, i guess there will not be a need to do what i am doing and striving for.

My youngest sis will be getting her PSLE results tomorrow. Seriously, i kinda pity her. 10 years down the road she'll be where i am if everything goes smoothly and things will be vastly different compared to what i am experiencing while i will get my butt out of the warming track in a matter of months and head on into the rat race.

and i wonder just how long more it will be before i stop looking at life in the perspective of a gamer, in particular in the sense of a person playing Sims.

The other day i dreamt that i somehow know i am going to die with a friend behind the wheels on an upwards winding road. Then i refused to allow my thoughts to flow just the way it wanted to and forced the automobile to swerve. I managed to get out of the car alive. but wondered if that's the right thing to do.

If dreams are simulations for life's situations, i guess mine will never be an interesting and challenging one. After all, that's what the reset/restart button is for. To get the sense of accomplishment after conquering something, with the criteria of easy defeats before the victory is won.

I know I'm insane, coz i make no sense. But somehow it doesn't seem to matter in this place where logic doesn't count for anything. Maybe it's the pre-exam syndrome. Those times where energy is diverted to nonsensical issues instead of focusing on studies. Skilled procrastinator. we all are but the difference between you and me is that i practise on the ordinary stuff, A LOT.