June 24, 2011
June 09, 2011
Utterly emo today. Suddenly I felt like everything is happening at the same time and that my life has been compressed to a high pressure vault that needs constant monitoring lest it explodes.
So being a pessimist, I was quietly tearing before bed thinking how long more till i encounter a meltdown in the near future.
I know I must have better time management. I know I am capable of bigger things in life and should be able to cope with all things as I believe that God will never give someone more things that he or she can handle. But somewhere along this path that I'm taking, things don't go the way I want them to, and I become so overwhelmed with stuffs that I shldnt be too concerned with in the first place.
I cannot perform at my peak at work, maintain a good emotional and physical well-being, be the best daughter/fiancee/friend that I can be, without compromising on one or a combination of the above.
So I feel like My achievements for this year is at an all time low.
I seldom feel so demoralized at the life I am leading. So I guess this emo phase comes from the fear of not achieving my dream wedding, or the fear of not being good enough for everyone. Maybe it's a combination of both.
And I am annoyed at myself. A lot. For I know that he loves me so much that whatever I want, he'll provide just to make me happy. But I don't want OUR wedding to be a one-sided preference kinda event, for I know there are elements were he'll comply but not be too enthu or happy about. And I am willing to compromise. That is, after the meltdown that is sure to come. The meltdown will make me come to terms with those regrets that I'll live with, at least in the near future.
So being a pessimist, I was quietly tearing before bed thinking how long more till i encounter a meltdown in the near future.
I know I must have better time management. I know I am capable of bigger things in life and should be able to cope with all things as I believe that God will never give someone more things that he or she can handle. But somewhere along this path that I'm taking, things don't go the way I want them to, and I become so overwhelmed with stuffs that I shldnt be too concerned with in the first place.
I cannot perform at my peak at work, maintain a good emotional and physical well-being, be the best daughter/fiancee/friend that I can be, without compromising on one or a combination of the above.
So I feel like My achievements for this year is at an all time low.
I seldom feel so demoralized at the life I am leading. So I guess this emo phase comes from the fear of not achieving my dream wedding, or the fear of not being good enough for everyone. Maybe it's a combination of both.
And I am annoyed at myself. A lot. For I know that he loves me so much that whatever I want, he'll provide just to make me happy. But I don't want OUR wedding to be a one-sided preference kinda event, for I know there are elements were he'll comply but not be too enthu or happy about. And I am willing to compromise. That is, after the meltdown that is sure to come. The meltdown will make me come to terms with those regrets that I'll live with, at least in the near future.
June 02, 2011
lasik
Recently my brain functions at its maximum capacity. to the point where i think i'm a walking timebomb.
Firstly i wanted to note down my LASIK experience. Finally made up my mind and go ahead with Shinagawa lasik at Wheelock place. Went for both Shinagawa and LSC forums and felt that the former was much better in terms of the clear ecplanation as well as had a great experience at the pre-lasik assessment.
Wils went for his pre-lasik assessment at LSC and had a totally horrendous saturday afternoon there. He then went to try Shinagawa. The utcome is still the same- his cornea is not suitable for lasik. But he too, felt that the doctors and nurses there have a much better understanding of the customer needs as well as a higher standard of service.
I went to the appointment on 30 May and spend a total of less than 2 hours in the clinic, incl filling up forms and waiting time before i stepped out of the clinic spectacle-free.
The nurse first brought me to a cosy area of the clinic and let me relax on this reclining armchair in a private space. she administered a small sleeping pill which she told me was for relaxation and in no means meant to make me sleep during the surgery. then she gave me numbing eyedrops. after resting for awhile, i was brought to another room where i don this disposable surgery gown and cap to keep my hair out of the way. Then i had more eye drops administered before the doctor check my eyes to confirm that i'm well enough for surgery.
i was then brought to the 1st operating theater where they create the flap. The nurses there guided me along the way and told me what to expect prior to each stage of the surgery, which i find very comforting.
In the 1st operating room, i lie down on this chair that looks damn dentist-like. Doctor Lee was talking to me the whole time, pre-empting me of what to expect. Along the way he told me what i was supposed to experience, which is great, for i was initially so scared of the pressure on my eye and the vision going away completely for that few seconds. i was told that i will see a green light, then a red one, then i will feel pressure on my eye, then my vision will disappear. then i will feel more pressure. then i was to countdown from 25. so 2 nurses was in the room counting down for me so that i know when to take a new breadth! then the cycle repeats. after which doc Lee went to the 2nd operating room to prepare while the nurse apply more eyedrops, and told me to continue blinking to make the bubbles which was formed to create the flap go away.
then someone guided me to the next room. by then my vision was much like my normal sight without specs or contacts, but more hazy.
the 2nd operating room was a full lie down bed. this time round i do not feel any pressure/pain at all. again Dr lee pre-empt me on what to expect and what i was suppose to experience. after which i can see him using this thing that looks like a spatula to even out the flap. that very much reminds me of how we apply butter on chicken wings during BBQ.
in less than 5 mins, viola! i was given a pat on the shoulders and congratulations! i can see without spectacles.
So i was brought back to the resting area to relax for awhile fore leaving the clinic. the first thing the nurse told me was "your husband ask you to call him when you're done. he says he'll be downstairs shopping!" Damn. i forgot to bring my phone so i got to borrow the clinic's phone to make the call. and he told the nurse that i'm his wife. lolx.. not for another 2 months!
So my eyes felt rather heavy right after the surgery. on my way back home in his car i kept my eyes closed to avoid the sunlight. after i reached home i realised i have trouble keeping my eyes wide open. i can only manage a slit to see and my eyes cant stop tearing. so i ate a quick dinner and went to bed.
4 hrs nap later, i woke up being able to see everything without spectacles.
2 days later, i'm thoroughly enjoying my lifestyle without spectacles and contacts. after lasik, i no longer need to fumble for my spectacles when i wake up in the morning, or remove my contacts when my eyes feel too dry.
I can see perfectly fine, and i think it's a great technology. it's amazing how a few beams of laser can bring so much convenience.
i do not experience any bloodshot eyes, i am applying the eyedrops as instructed, and can't wait to fully appreciate the convenience of not having to bring eyewear during holidays and while playing sports!!!!
Firstly i wanted to note down my LASIK experience. Finally made up my mind and go ahead with Shinagawa lasik at Wheelock place. Went for both Shinagawa and LSC forums and felt that the former was much better in terms of the clear ecplanation as well as had a great experience at the pre-lasik assessment.
Wils went for his pre-lasik assessment at LSC and had a totally horrendous saturday afternoon there. He then went to try Shinagawa. The utcome is still the same- his cornea is not suitable for lasik. But he too, felt that the doctors and nurses there have a much better understanding of the customer needs as well as a higher standard of service.
I went to the appointment on 30 May and spend a total of less than 2 hours in the clinic, incl filling up forms and waiting time before i stepped out of the clinic spectacle-free.
The nurse first brought me to a cosy area of the clinic and let me relax on this reclining armchair in a private space. she administered a small sleeping pill which she told me was for relaxation and in no means meant to make me sleep during the surgery. then she gave me numbing eyedrops. after resting for awhile, i was brought to another room where i don this disposable surgery gown and cap to keep my hair out of the way. Then i had more eye drops administered before the doctor check my eyes to confirm that i'm well enough for surgery.
i was then brought to the 1st operating theater where they create the flap. The nurses there guided me along the way and told me what to expect prior to each stage of the surgery, which i find very comforting.
In the 1st operating room, i lie down on this chair that looks damn dentist-like. Doctor Lee was talking to me the whole time, pre-empting me of what to expect. Along the way he told me what i was supposed to experience, which is great, for i was initially so scared of the pressure on my eye and the vision going away completely for that few seconds. i was told that i will see a green light, then a red one, then i will feel pressure on my eye, then my vision will disappear. then i will feel more pressure. then i was to countdown from 25. so 2 nurses was in the room counting down for me so that i know when to take a new breadth! then the cycle repeats. after which doc Lee went to the 2nd operating room to prepare while the nurse apply more eyedrops, and told me to continue blinking to make the bubbles which was formed to create the flap go away.
then someone guided me to the next room. by then my vision was much like my normal sight without specs or contacts, but more hazy.
the 2nd operating room was a full lie down bed. this time round i do not feel any pressure/pain at all. again Dr lee pre-empt me on what to expect and what i was suppose to experience. after which i can see him using this thing that looks like a spatula to even out the flap. that very much reminds me of how we apply butter on chicken wings during BBQ.
in less than 5 mins, viola! i was given a pat on the shoulders and congratulations! i can see without spectacles.
So i was brought back to the resting area to relax for awhile fore leaving the clinic. the first thing the nurse told me was "your husband ask you to call him when you're done. he says he'll be downstairs shopping!" Damn. i forgot to bring my phone so i got to borrow the clinic's phone to make the call. and he told the nurse that i'm his wife. lolx.. not for another 2 months!
So my eyes felt rather heavy right after the surgery. on my way back home in his car i kept my eyes closed to avoid the sunlight. after i reached home i realised i have trouble keeping my eyes wide open. i can only manage a slit to see and my eyes cant stop tearing. so i ate a quick dinner and went to bed.
4 hrs nap later, i woke up being able to see everything without spectacles.
2 days later, i'm thoroughly enjoying my lifestyle without spectacles and contacts. after lasik, i no longer need to fumble for my spectacles when i wake up in the morning, or remove my contacts when my eyes feel too dry.
I can see perfectly fine, and i think it's a great technology. it's amazing how a few beams of laser can bring so much convenience.
i do not experience any bloodshot eyes, i am applying the eyedrops as instructed, and can't wait to fully appreciate the convenience of not having to bring eyewear during holidays and while playing sports!!!!
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