July 30, 2009
July 27, 2009
Trying to be more independent
Not just financially, but with everything.
Financial independence is easily achievable with the following guaranteed:
1) a roof over my head
2) food on the table
3) no other commitments and responsibilities
But else, all other contexts of the attainment (or even the lack) of independence involves much of trust. Oneself, as much as others.
People talked once in awhile about 50k. and so i told them if i have 50k, or even some backing from higher authority, maybe it'll be easier to watch the days go by. but it's a fact that i have neither. so i'll have to go with the flow.
one big question: What comes after work?
In life there should be a flow, and I'd very much rather I'm the lead actress in that Mercedes (or was it BMW?) advert about living life backwards.
It seems like a nice choice to damn one's life to work in the first 40 years of one's life since one won't remember what happened in the first half anyway, then following by some crazy plans since one has all the money earned, and the health to enjoy it.. and then going on to pursue an education where one drifts off into forever and dying in dreamland as a child.
well, that is just my ideal kind of life. I jolly well know that if one does not have the basic building blocks like speech and physical abilities accumulated from young, then how do we even work for the first 40 years..
Hmm.. the symptoms of thinking too much, again.
Financial independence is easily achievable with the following guaranteed:
1) a roof over my head
2) food on the table
3) no other commitments and responsibilities
But else, all other contexts of the attainment (or even the lack) of independence involves much of trust. Oneself, as much as others.
People talked once in awhile about 50k. and so i told them if i have 50k, or even some backing from higher authority, maybe it'll be easier to watch the days go by. but it's a fact that i have neither. so i'll have to go with the flow.
one big question: What comes after work?
In life there should be a flow, and I'd very much rather I'm the lead actress in that Mercedes (or was it BMW?) advert about living life backwards.
It seems like a nice choice to damn one's life to work in the first 40 years of one's life since one won't remember what happened in the first half anyway, then following by some crazy plans since one has all the money earned, and the health to enjoy it.. and then going on to pursue an education where one drifts off into forever and dying in dreamland as a child.
well, that is just my ideal kind of life. I jolly well know that if one does not have the basic building blocks like speech and physical abilities accumulated from young, then how do we even work for the first 40 years..
Hmm.. the symptoms of thinking too much, again.
July 22, 2009
Shrinking memory radius
Those group mates that once were. Now gone.
Will i take the initiative to contact them in future?
No.
Will they do the same to me?
Yes.
Memories lasted till the point in time where we sat during meal breaks in the middle of / in between classes talking about how little we learnt from the start of the module till then. What we aim to achieve at the end of our schooldays.
People forgotten, till facebook pops up some familiar name with a link.
you click on it, bringing you to the current going-ons in their lives, and you wonder if somewhere, sometime, other acquaintances are doing the same- not remembering your existence until they chanced upon chance.
Then somehow it brings about this sombre mood where the fact sinks in, the fact that even when your paths crossed, it means little than yet another maybe familiar face in future.
and that, is sad. For it seems like at the end of the day, we are all solely me, me, me for we are the only ones living with ourselves 24/7.
and as time goes, the theory of 6 degrees of separation may well be just an ideal term which is only possible on paper. For those steps may well be invisible, or so weak that one will never reach the 6th. which is to say, we are all so NOT connected that it amazes me. yes, especially in this technologically advanced generation where we all buy into the theory that the world is flat.
yes. and all over the invisible dimension of the world wide web, people are coming up with a zillion programs and applications just to make those lines more defined. Things like facebook and iphones. yes, hail those intangibles that make up our world.
Will i take the initiative to contact them in future?
No.
Will they do the same to me?
Yes.
Memories lasted till the point in time where we sat during meal breaks in the middle of / in between classes talking about how little we learnt from the start of the module till then. What we aim to achieve at the end of our schooldays.
People forgotten, till facebook pops up some familiar name with a link.
you click on it, bringing you to the current going-ons in their lives, and you wonder if somewhere, sometime, other acquaintances are doing the same- not remembering your existence until they chanced upon chance.
Then somehow it brings about this sombre mood where the fact sinks in, the fact that even when your paths crossed, it means little than yet another maybe familiar face in future.
and that, is sad. For it seems like at the end of the day, we are all solely me, me, me for we are the only ones living with ourselves 24/7.
and as time goes, the theory of 6 degrees of separation may well be just an ideal term which is only possible on paper. For those steps may well be invisible, or so weak that one will never reach the 6th. which is to say, we are all so NOT connected that it amazes me. yes, especially in this technologically advanced generation where we all buy into the theory that the world is flat.
yes. and all over the invisible dimension of the world wide web, people are coming up with a zillion programs and applications just to make those lines more defined. Things like facebook and iphones. yes, hail those intangibles that make up our world.
July 12, 2009
Will be officially a working adult out of school by this time tomorrow.
Uni convocation will be somehow like what we went through in poly (I suppose), so nothing much to worry about. I recalled a mad rush and panic for preparation the night before poly commencement BUT somehow this time round I know I've reached the end of the edu journey hence it's only the paper that matter at the end of the day, and no one will remember how I look like on the day of the ceremony, yes, not even myself.
Yes, and my parents are more excited than me. Can you believe it?!
and the saddest thing of what I learnt these 22 years is that the easiest route to a better future is that passport (read: cert) that gets you across customs. The entry level to a hell lot of stuff.
and the reason behind that is the society we embrace. This practical yet moronic mindset of my fellow citizens that make us force ourselves into a certain mould so as to fit in, better.
alright. to the topic of work. I am now at legoland looking at systems that make my eyes crossed, somehow. and i go home at the end of the day feeling like i've been filled to the brim with stuff. For the time being, it is really exhausting. But i can foresee the sense of fulfillment that comes with experience.. and of course the moolah that flows in with the fatigue I'll accumulate as time goes. Well, what do you expect? ALL passion, no ka-ching $$ ? sorry. I've already been mould-ed. lolx
Uni convocation will be somehow like what we went through in poly (I suppose), so nothing much to worry about. I recalled a mad rush and panic for preparation the night before poly commencement BUT somehow this time round I know I've reached the end of the edu journey hence it's only the paper that matter at the end of the day, and no one will remember how I look like on the day of the ceremony, yes, not even myself.
Yes, and my parents are more excited than me. Can you believe it?!
and the saddest thing of what I learnt these 22 years is that the easiest route to a better future is that passport (read: cert) that gets you across customs. The entry level to a hell lot of stuff.
and the reason behind that is the society we embrace. This practical yet moronic mindset of my fellow citizens that make us force ourselves into a certain mould so as to fit in, better.
alright. to the topic of work. I am now at legoland looking at systems that make my eyes crossed, somehow. and i go home at the end of the day feeling like i've been filled to the brim with stuff. For the time being, it is really exhausting. But i can foresee the sense of fulfillment that comes with experience.. and of course the moolah that flows in with the fatigue I'll accumulate as time goes. Well, what do you expect? ALL passion, no ka-ching $$ ? sorry. I've already been mould-ed. lolx
July 07, 2009
Was browsing through my thoughts in the Tok blog and suddenly felt overwhelmed by emotions.
4th of July just passed and I found myself recalling the sugared duckies with the flag. Then soon after we'll be celebrating Christmas in July with hot cocoa and Kahlua. Last year this time I do not have time to complain. I was like on my 3rd consecutive work week or something without any rest days, holding more than one job plus working close to 17 hours every alternate day. I can almost imagine the creepy numbness at my fingertips. The unexplained weakness of arm muscles from hauling food bins OVERHEAD and into the dumpster.
Yep. should anyone say that I am a xiao jie/ gu niang, maybe I should retort by asking if they've ever tried working as a dishwasher at the most popular restaurant in town. If no, then talk to my hand.
4th of July just passed and I found myself recalling the sugared duckies with the flag. Then soon after we'll be celebrating Christmas in July with hot cocoa and Kahlua. Last year this time I do not have time to complain. I was like on my 3rd consecutive work week or something without any rest days, holding more than one job plus working close to 17 hours every alternate day. I can almost imagine the creepy numbness at my fingertips. The unexplained weakness of arm muscles from hauling food bins OVERHEAD and into the dumpster.
Yep. should anyone say that I am a xiao jie/ gu niang, maybe I should retort by asking if they've ever tried working as a dishwasher at the most popular restaurant in town. If no, then talk to my hand.
July 06, 2009
Training phase
I know it is the right one when your mind doesn't work the way it used to work when you feel undervalued and unappreciated.
I know that if everything goes well, the pot of gold will be at the end of my rainbow for sure.
... And in the event that I screw up, the cause-and-effect theory ain't too hard to swallow either.
Plus performance to reward keeps the motivation going.. So I do not foresee how this will end up like the hospitality sector where one sits by thinking your department is the ONLY one bringing in the revenue..
Maybe I'm wrong. But let me be mistaken till 2012.
To the one staying above, THANKS.
------------------------------
Commencement this Sunday. I can hardly believe I've finished running around the track and have reached the finishing line. I have yet to feel the effect of stumbling head on into the rat race. Today I met a uni friend at Kovan MRT. She's currently hired at some investment banking company as an intern drawing an INTERN pay of $1500 per month. like WTF. seriously... all other interns earn like 700 bucks. those at auditing firms take 600. but well, that's where the money lies huh.. so I guess somehow I must tell myself that between money and passion, I CHOSE somewhere in between. Of course all must be aware that the scale is ALWAYS tipped to one end. ^.-
She posed the question: How does working full-time feels like?
Somehow I was truly lost for words. Somehow the situation has yet to hit full blast. I am still sort of strolling and admiring the flowers before someone throws a pail of dirty water at the walkway, and screams at me to get off their yard. yes. not that yet. Maybe that's why I can only properly evaluate the situation half a year from now, then a year from now, 2 years from now, and right after the bond. By then I should look like 30 with wrinkles and crowfeet. yep. Maybe.
Slowing down the ageing process. Maybe all we're seeking is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, regardless of one's wealth. All we're looking forward to is to be more stable, more secure, more dependable. yes, on ourselves. The HOPE for a BETTER tomorrow, no matter how contented we are. For if we can have more of one commodity, why would we want to settle for less? Yes, I'm starting to think that my mind works more like an economist than not.
For the many more 12-hr ++ shifts that I will be enduring for my coming days, wish me all the best.
thanks
I know that if everything goes well, the pot of gold will be at the end of my rainbow for sure.
... And in the event that I screw up, the cause-and-effect theory ain't too hard to swallow either.
Plus performance to reward keeps the motivation going.. So I do not foresee how this will end up like the hospitality sector where one sits by thinking your department is the ONLY one bringing in the revenue..
Maybe I'm wrong. But let me be mistaken till 2012.
To the one staying above, THANKS.
------------------------------
Commencement this Sunday. I can hardly believe I've finished running around the track and have reached the finishing line. I have yet to feel the effect of stumbling head on into the rat race. Today I met a uni friend at Kovan MRT. She's currently hired at some investment banking company as an intern drawing an INTERN pay of $1500 per month. like WTF. seriously... all other interns earn like 700 bucks. those at auditing firms take 600. but well, that's where the money lies huh.. so I guess somehow I must tell myself that between money and passion, I CHOSE somewhere in between. Of course all must be aware that the scale is ALWAYS tipped to one end. ^.-
She posed the question: How does working full-time feels like?
Somehow I was truly lost for words. Somehow the situation has yet to hit full blast. I am still sort of strolling and admiring the flowers before someone throws a pail of dirty water at the walkway, and screams at me to get off their yard. yes. not that yet. Maybe that's why I can only properly evaluate the situation half a year from now, then a year from now, 2 years from now, and right after the bond. By then I should look like 30 with wrinkles and crowfeet. yep. Maybe.
Slowing down the ageing process. Maybe all we're seeking is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, regardless of one's wealth. All we're looking forward to is to be more stable, more secure, more dependable. yes, on ourselves. The HOPE for a BETTER tomorrow, no matter how contented we are. For if we can have more of one commodity, why would we want to settle for less? Yes, I'm starting to think that my mind works more like an economist than not.
For the many more 12-hr ++ shifts that I will be enduring for my coming days, wish me all the best.
thanks
June 29, 2009
and check out dilbert comic strips on the left!
I was browsing uob website and found out that you can personalize some of the supplementary cards with a sign off at the top right hand corner.
ok, how cool is that?! I find that nice. Imagine (just imagine) mom's face when you give her the usual birthday card every year. She receives it with the usual smile and proceeds to open the envelop which holds that card, to find a personalized supp card for all her spending. =)
or your sis's 21st bdae, you handed her a card and she gives you this *chey cheapskate give me hallmark/blue mountain's card only* look. Then 10 minutes later you'll hear her telling her friends about how she got this new supp card as a birthday present. For someone who isn't working or does not have the ability to, yep. that should be a big deal. It's not so much of the ability to spend without or outside of your limits, for the giver will surely know and expect you to be in control before you're being presented with the card. BUT it's the trust and nice personalized touch that one is giving, not so much the value of the gift.
so now maybe the banks can start thinking of ways to charge for people to personalise their cards. I know it's already available for cashcard and ezlinks..
okay.. random stuff.. I'll be meeting the odin peeps tmr.. it's been so so long since i last met up with them. Like before i left for korea. Like before everything happened.
and i'm starting work soon.
Being financially stable is very important to me as an individual, and i'm really looking forward to that. I know it won't be like the usual part-time days when you look forward to payday at the end of the month just so you can buy something that you've been aiming for awhile. I know i'll very much still be looking forward to payday every month, but on top of that comes a great many other opportunities that will be available to me once the money comes rolling in.. and other responsibilities assumed by default.
dreading the commitment, yet looking forward to it. it seems like I'm standing at the shoreline with the waves crashing around my feet, advancing and retreating, advancing and retreating...
ok, how cool is that?! I find that nice. Imagine (just imagine) mom's face when you give her the usual birthday card every year. She receives it with the usual smile and proceeds to open the envelop which holds that card, to find a personalized supp card for all her spending. =)
or your sis's 21st bdae, you handed her a card and she gives you this *chey cheapskate give me hallmark/blue mountain's card only* look. Then 10 minutes later you'll hear her telling her friends about how she got this new supp card as a birthday present. For someone who isn't working or does not have the ability to, yep. that should be a big deal. It's not so much of the ability to spend without or outside of your limits, for the giver will surely know and expect you to be in control before you're being presented with the card. BUT it's the trust and nice personalized touch that one is giving, not so much the value of the gift.
so now maybe the banks can start thinking of ways to charge for people to personalise their cards. I know it's already available for cashcard and ezlinks..
okay.. random stuff.. I'll be meeting the odin peeps tmr.. it's been so so long since i last met up with them. Like before i left for korea. Like before everything happened.
and i'm starting work soon.
Being financially stable is very important to me as an individual, and i'm really looking forward to that. I know it won't be like the usual part-time days when you look forward to payday at the end of the month just so you can buy something that you've been aiming for awhile. I know i'll very much still be looking forward to payday every month, but on top of that comes a great many other opportunities that will be available to me once the money comes rolling in.. and other responsibilities assumed by default.
dreading the commitment, yet looking forward to it. it seems like I'm standing at the shoreline with the waves crashing around my feet, advancing and retreating, advancing and retreating...
June 26, 2009
Happiness can be so so simple...
if everyone overlooks the fact that money is the root of all evil~
Looking at those happy faces on social networking webbies.. and u'll realise that 90% of those pictures posted were those that are exchanged with Yusof Ishaks, somehow or another.
Be it at a restaurant, outings with friends (which include some kind of activities/ food = money), flowers, cakes, new material goods etc... all those damn tangibles that are much sought after.
=(
so we know that money cannot BUY happiness.. but in order to be happy, pls hand me those vitamin 'M's..... i need them for survival. and ultimately how happy u are depends on how contented you are with ur current situation.. and one can only start to think of needs other than physiological ones when the most basic ones are met, which all boils down to the availability of kaching in ur bank..
Looking at those happy faces on social networking webbies.. and u'll realise that 90% of those pictures posted were those that are exchanged with Yusof Ishaks, somehow or another.
Be it at a restaurant, outings with friends (which include some kind of activities/ food = money), flowers, cakes, new material goods etc... all those damn tangibles that are much sought after.
=(
so we know that money cannot BUY happiness.. but in order to be happy, pls hand me those vitamin 'M's..... i need them for survival. and ultimately how happy u are depends on how contented you are with ur current situation.. and one can only start to think of needs other than physiological ones when the most basic ones are met, which all boils down to the availability of kaching in ur bank..
June 24, 2009
June 22, 2009
I need fruit flo, the big one, with extra berries.
Tired of the marathon even at the starting point.
and currently, it feels as if I'm waiting for the gunfire at the ready, get set, go mark.
How do i explain to others how I am feeling right now?
and currently, it feels as if I'm waiting for the gunfire at the ready, get set, go mark.
How do i explain to others how I am feeling right now?
June 21, 2009
When given the time
Instead of chasing after some absurd or even impractical dreams, I chose what most people do - watching the days go by and not knowing which day of the week it is.
We are all attached to the anchored, secured feeling. So when faced with prolong periods of rest, the sense of restlessness come into play. Time, then, display the stark contrast between now and anytime elsewhere. Day in day out waiting for something different, something that makes my life worthwhile at the end of my time where I can look back and go in peace knowing that out of the billions of people walking on Earth, I am me and have not lived my life like a puppet on string listening and following what the rest of the world is doing, what other people believed to be the right way to do things. Rather, MY way of doing things.
Consciously or subconsciously comparing everything with everyone else. Tiring chore. Comparing grades, material goods, sportsmanship, talents, abilities, friends, partners, the makeup on my face, the shoes on my feet, the books i am reading, the games i play, what i do in my free time, the amount of money i have in the bank, where i've been, the people around me, how i treat other people, how i this, how i that, and in later part of life, my job, my family, how i raise my kids, how i fare as an adult and most of all how i carry all that judgments all my life. It's a chore knowing that nothing matters as much as how I see myself but conformance is a disease, for it brings joy- to those who managed to extract a sense of superiority over the rest, and comfort (if they fail)- as they are with the majority.
Finding meaning, real meaning. Giving up everything, campaigning for AIDS all over the world trying to make a difference? Implementing changes to save the Earth? or just making oneself feel better by retaining what one has now and making small changes? Support the ribbon campaigns, donate money for that is what humans are less likely to part with given a comfortable lifestyle and not wanting to make major changes to their lives while trying to make themselves feel like they've tried their best in making a difference..
Just like passion, sometimes one has to keep reminding oneself that only money rule this world now, not those intangible feelings that are unanchored to anything else. and for that, we are all slaves. somehow or another.
Maybe it's just me. but given the time to be paranoid is not healthy, at all.
We are all attached to the anchored, secured feeling. So when faced with prolong periods of rest, the sense of restlessness come into play. Time, then, display the stark contrast between now and anytime elsewhere. Day in day out waiting for something different, something that makes my life worthwhile at the end of my time where I can look back and go in peace knowing that out of the billions of people walking on Earth, I am me and have not lived my life like a puppet on string listening and following what the rest of the world is doing, what other people believed to be the right way to do things. Rather, MY way of doing things.
Consciously or subconsciously comparing everything with everyone else. Tiring chore. Comparing grades, material goods, sportsmanship, talents, abilities, friends, partners, the makeup on my face, the shoes on my feet, the books i am reading, the games i play, what i do in my free time, the amount of money i have in the bank, where i've been, the people around me, how i treat other people, how i this, how i that, and in later part of life, my job, my family, how i raise my kids, how i fare as an adult and most of all how i carry all that judgments all my life. It's a chore knowing that nothing matters as much as how I see myself but conformance is a disease, for it brings joy- to those who managed to extract a sense of superiority over the rest, and comfort (if they fail)- as they are with the majority.
Finding meaning, real meaning. Giving up everything, campaigning for AIDS all over the world trying to make a difference? Implementing changes to save the Earth? or just making oneself feel better by retaining what one has now and making small changes? Support the ribbon campaigns, donate money for that is what humans are less likely to part with given a comfortable lifestyle and not wanting to make major changes to their lives while trying to make themselves feel like they've tried their best in making a difference..
Just like passion, sometimes one has to keep reminding oneself that only money rule this world now, not those intangible feelings that are unanchored to anything else. and for that, we are all slaves. somehow or another.
Maybe it's just me. but given the time to be paranoid is not healthy, at all.
June 17, 2009
The things we do- for memories are selectively retained
Took time to browse through the pictures I took in Seoul, and the memories just came back like I was there yesterday.
The school, CJ House, and out... The many a gatherings and outings and celebrations and drinking sessions... the times when there was zilch responsibilities and absolute freedom to do what your heart tells you to do, and not what your mind says you should be doing. The genuine happy smiles frozen in a place that transcends time and space. the random crazy ideas we had, the happiness and nil restrictions that we all seek.. the almost trouble-free lifestyle, living in absolute comfort and ease. all those gone with the wind once we step on board the journey home. I see the face i see everyday in the mirror being captured in pictures by friends with expressions I never thought i have, and can never replicate in front of a camera now.
The decision to put pressure on the camera shuttle is a consideration of a split second. any later the photo would not turn out the way it is, but before that lies the opportunity to be at the right place at the right time.
The school, CJ House, and out... The many a gatherings and outings and celebrations and drinking sessions... the times when there was zilch responsibilities and absolute freedom to do what your heart tells you to do, and not what your mind says you should be doing. The genuine happy smiles frozen in a place that transcends time and space. the random crazy ideas we had, the happiness and nil restrictions that we all seek.. the almost trouble-free lifestyle, living in absolute comfort and ease. all those gone with the wind once we step on board the journey home. I see the face i see everyday in the mirror being captured in pictures by friends with expressions I never thought i have, and can never replicate in front of a camera now.
The decision to put pressure on the camera shuttle is a consideration of a split second. any later the photo would not turn out the way it is, but before that lies the opportunity to be at the right place at the right time.
June 12, 2009
June 02, 2009
I traveled around New Zealand in a Spaceship named Alien and gen 1 Mazda convertible.
It was a thoroughly relaxing trip that tempts me to consider moving out of the sunny island in search for a lifestyle with slower tempo.
and yep. Singapore is only the size of LAKE Taupo.
We did Zorb, 4WD, went to see the thermal pools and had a dip in the mud pool, kayaking Milford Sound etc... too bad the Fox glacier hike got cancelled due to bad weather. =(
I like Top10 holiday parks for the cosy accommodation and splendid kitchen. I like traveling around in a car-pervan. I enjoy seeing rainbows everyday (almost) and taking in greenland as wide as my eyes can see and the beautiful sceneries that one can never view back home.
Going away makes all the difference. Liminality. The space between two familiar phases that seems like an entirely different zone. Now that i'm back typing this in my room looking out of the window (only to see the windows of my neighbours and the sun glaring) makes me feel as if i've nevr been away at all.
I've freedom for one more month, and all i want to do is to go away in search of more time alone.
Sipping lattes or flat whites in a cosy cafe lost in thoughts and the feeling of euphoria when the sun beats on your back while the winter air envelop you. going extremes and feeling like there's nothing between you and everything else. Maybe i do have claustrophobia, living in a city state.
It was a thoroughly relaxing trip that tempts me to consider moving out of the sunny island in search for a lifestyle with slower tempo.
and yep. Singapore is only the size of LAKE Taupo.
We did Zorb, 4WD, went to see the thermal pools and had a dip in the mud pool, kayaking Milford Sound etc... too bad the Fox glacier hike got cancelled due to bad weather. =(
I like Top10 holiday parks for the cosy accommodation and splendid kitchen. I like traveling around in a car-pervan. I enjoy seeing rainbows everyday (almost) and taking in greenland as wide as my eyes can see and the beautiful sceneries that one can never view back home.
Going away makes all the difference. Liminality. The space between two familiar phases that seems like an entirely different zone. Now that i'm back typing this in my room looking out of the window (only to see the windows of my neighbours and the sun glaring) makes me feel as if i've nevr been away at all.
I've freedom for one more month, and all i want to do is to go away in search of more time alone.
Sipping lattes or flat whites in a cosy cafe lost in thoughts and the feeling of euphoria when the sun beats on your back while the winter air envelop you. going extremes and feeling like there's nothing between you and everything else. Maybe i do have claustrophobia, living in a city state.
May 04, 2009
April 27, 2009
i'm just me. don't say that i a bit a bit then like this or a bit a bit like that.
I get very defensive when people raise their voices, and i am extremely sensitive to tone variations in conversations.
walking along the swaying scales it's hard to find a balance, and i find myself being affected easily when it tends towards one side or the other.
if it affects u, go chill~
walking along the swaying scales it's hard to find a balance, and i find myself being affected easily when it tends towards one side or the other.
if it affects u, go chill~
April 26, 2009
perfect weekend. ^^
Went clay pigeon shooting at bukit timah gun club clay target range on friday.
It reminded me much of the days i did rifle, pistol and archery.. Just that this time round, my targets were moving. the recoil, the sound/visual of the targets splitting, the weight of the shotgun etc.. the activity makes me feel good about myself, plus exceeding my own expectations make me happy, but i suppose that applies to everyone. and hearing compliments every now and then aids in sound mental well-being. =)
Went pit biking in malaysia yesterday, i've always wanted a class 2 license for like forever and this sort of make up for not being able/ giving up on 2B. Dirt biking in the plantation areas climbing slopes so steep that i never even though i'll be able to on foot and riding around at levels so high i know i'll break a bone or two if i fall.. and thoroughly enjoying the thrill of losing control. it would've been perfect if only the glove lining didnt slice my skin open. damn it. and every time i pull the clutch the material bites.
the pineapple made up for the warm day outdoor. and it was just a pity we didnt continue into the afternoon, if not someone could've had more fun.. =) next time we go try the atv~!! woosh!! then we can go at even faster speed without the feeling of the bike vibrating so hard it seems as though the oil tank is going to explode under the hot sun. lolx..
and finally i got to eat the seafood lunch!!! and the massage was definitely value for money!
the dvds we bought is enough to last us a good couple of months too.. ^^
i was so exhausted that i slept right through sunday.. this weekend i've had so much fun in a semester put together. Maybe coz all i have left for my education life is a paper on saturday. plus going back to jogging helps in stress management. sorry if i snapped a time too many recently. and thank you~ i had a lot a lot of fun. =)
It reminded me much of the days i did rifle, pistol and archery.. Just that this time round, my targets were moving. the recoil, the sound/visual of the targets splitting, the weight of the shotgun etc.. the activity makes me feel good about myself, plus exceeding my own expectations make me happy, but i suppose that applies to everyone. and hearing compliments every now and then aids in sound mental well-being. =)
Went pit biking in malaysia yesterday, i've always wanted a class 2 license for like forever and this sort of make up for not being able/ giving up on 2B. Dirt biking in the plantation areas climbing slopes so steep that i never even though i'll be able to on foot and riding around at levels so high i know i'll break a bone or two if i fall.. and thoroughly enjoying the thrill of losing control. it would've been perfect if only the glove lining didnt slice my skin open. damn it. and every time i pull the clutch the material bites.
the pineapple made up for the warm day outdoor. and it was just a pity we didnt continue into the afternoon, if not someone could've had more fun.. =) next time we go try the atv~!! woosh!! then we can go at even faster speed without the feeling of the bike vibrating so hard it seems as though the oil tank is going to explode under the hot sun. lolx..
and finally i got to eat the seafood lunch!!! and the massage was definitely value for money!
the dvds we bought is enough to last us a good couple of months too.. ^^
i was so exhausted that i slept right through sunday.. this weekend i've had so much fun in a semester put together. Maybe coz all i have left for my education life is a paper on saturday. plus going back to jogging helps in stress management. sorry if i snapped a time too many recently. and thank you~ i had a lot a lot of fun. =)
April 22, 2009
Somehow keeping this blog seems like a torture recently.
I no longer find joy in sharing what I think, regardless of whether the stuff makes sense or not.
I find myself staring at the create post page blankly for goodness know how long till I know I've sat out the intense moments. then I'll type in some lame words or another that means little.
I missed those reflective moments where my thoughts go in a million directions and I spent some quality time alone communicating with myself and find out what I need and want in a particular period. I am happy when I managed to understand and love myself better every time I go through the routine memory un-cluttering process. and continue learning from myself when i look back and see it in words how i felt and reacted when i was younger, all my fears, confusion and immaturity.
Just ignore me. Some days things just hit from nowhere. Then one looks back and only realised that you've made a loop and is about at the ending point. and what's scary is not completing the race, but knowing that the ending point is right where the next starting point will be. damn!
and performance in one lap isnt going to help you win the race.
I no longer find joy in sharing what I think, regardless of whether the stuff makes sense or not.
I find myself staring at the create post page blankly for goodness know how long till I know I've sat out the intense moments. then I'll type in some lame words or another that means little.
I missed those reflective moments where my thoughts go in a million directions and I spent some quality time alone communicating with myself and find out what I need and want in a particular period. I am happy when I managed to understand and love myself better every time I go through the routine memory un-cluttering process. and continue learning from myself when i look back and see it in words how i felt and reacted when i was younger, all my fears, confusion and immaturity.
Just ignore me. Some days things just hit from nowhere. Then one looks back and only realised that you've made a loop and is about at the ending point. and what's scary is not completing the race, but knowing that the ending point is right where the next starting point will be. damn!
and performance in one lap isnt going to help you win the race.
April 20, 2009
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)