Generally, i adjust my outfit to reflect the current weather patterns.
i know i won't be too happy when it starts to rain and i have no umbrella but i am at my best.
so i was advised this as my horoscope prediction :
Consider such things when you walk into a room of people today.
What is the predominant mood?
How can you fit in with it and work to lift it instead of getting soaked?
yeap. how can i avoid getting soaked?
June 20, 2006
June 18, 2006
June 17, 2006
papa day tomorrow.
the last time i gave anything to my dad is my phone bills.. lolx. jk..
i mean the last thing i remembered giving him for fathers' day is actualy an ugly hallmark card i bought and wrote all my siblings' names on. i guesst that's sometime in upper Primary bah.
somehow, i have the impression the card actually shows a picture of a fisherman in tattered light blue/ white shirt.
this shows how bo xim i am huh..
fathers' day aint really a significant day for celebration. i dun mean it's not important at all, but at least a lot of pple dun put the emphasis on this day, or spend time planning way before hand.
okay. i shldnt generalise. or, maybe i'm the only one.
the last time i gave anything to my dad is my phone bills.. lolx. jk..
i mean the last thing i remembered giving him for fathers' day is actualy an ugly hallmark card i bought and wrote all my siblings' names on. i guesst that's sometime in upper Primary bah.
somehow, i have the impression the card actually shows a picture of a fisherman in tattered light blue/ white shirt.
this shows how bo xim i am huh..
fathers' day aint really a significant day for celebration. i dun mean it's not important at all, but at least a lot of pple dun put the emphasis on this day, or spend time planning way before hand.
okay. i shldnt generalise. or, maybe i'm the only one.
June 13, 2006
felt confident today (might be the colour of the clothes i wore) and things went smoothly. so seemlessly in fact, that i felt that i am finally back in control of my life.
wanted to laugh at myself coz of all these self-talk.
control- it is all but an illusion. all about perception.
aint in the right mood,
not at the right time,
wasnt with the right people,
cant be in the right place.
excuses. excuses. excuses.
of all the things i miss, calling someone just because i want to and yakking non-stop over the phone is at the top of my list. it makes perfect sense to just contact someone when i want to and share whatever that comes to mind. but this act seems to increase its difficulty with age.
the hesitation before a call,
the it's-okay-to-put-it-off-till-later attitude,
the i've-grown-up-no-more-dependent-on-others and
the fear of exposing weaknesses...
if we're friends. should i let u know everything you should, or should i place a barrier to let u know how far u can go to know me.
risks..
helplessness if privilege-to-know-all-of-u: uses something to hurt you.
helplessness again, if distance-i-give-u-ur-privacy: cant even let u rely on coz they have absolutely no idea how to go about doing it.
risks..
so u see.. how can i not laugh at myself when i dun even know what i'm saying in the first place.
wanted to laugh at myself coz of all these self-talk.
control- it is all but an illusion. all about perception.
aint in the right mood,
not at the right time,
wasnt with the right people,
cant be in the right place.
excuses. excuses. excuses.
of all the things i miss, calling someone just because i want to and yakking non-stop over the phone is at the top of my list. it makes perfect sense to just contact someone when i want to and share whatever that comes to mind. but this act seems to increase its difficulty with age.
the hesitation before a call,
the it's-okay-to-put-it-off-till-later attitude,
the i've-grown-up-no-more-dependent-on-others and
the fear of exposing weaknesses...
if we're friends. should i let u know everything you should, or should i place a barrier to let u know how far u can go to know me.
risks..
helplessness if privilege-to-know-all-of-u: uses something to hurt you.
helplessness again, if distance-i-give-u-ur-privacy: cant even let u rely on coz they have absolutely no idea how to go about doing it.
risks..
so u see.. how can i not laugh at myself when i dun even know what i'm saying in the first place.
June 12, 2006
June 08, 2006
unable to lift up my spirits ever since the grad ceremony.
can even say i'm half depressed.
sitting in TCC waiting for the crermony to start is the beginning of total self awareness of how not sociable i am.
i'm starting to pity myself and wondering what the hell i'm doing in a hospitality course when i cant even think of what to say to the 2 coursemates sitting beside me.
for over an hour, i almost sat in silence if they dont speak to me first.
i cant even think of an excuse of why we know each other's existance yet i dun even greet them when i see them.
maybe i keep to myelf and my circle of friends too much.
or maybe we just dont have the same frequency.
in my 3 years (2.5 actually), i've never felt this lost, this aimless.. hate this unanchored feeling and that whatever i think i did right as and might be wrong all the while. maybei should face each day with a smile and act as if i'm best friends with the pple walking on earth, or maybe i should adapt to my surroundings more so that i can at least blend in instead of blend out.
saw so many pple i think i'll never have the chance to see in future. so many familiar faces that i wanted to just walk up and say 'hey, congrats.' but the words slipped away before i even have the chance to face this eager side of me. find myself asking why i am wanting to try so hard to salvage the situation, this last chance ever..
the emptiness after the spotlight dims.. the flimsy piece of paper that weigh the same.. i didnt try hard enough all these while. all i wanted to do when i stepped into poly is to make more friends, get out of the quiet self in sec school but things seem to take a turn for the worse..
maybe i didnt try hard enough.
right now, i wished i could turn back time. meet the pple i want to meet, make sure i put in enough effort to at least know most of them and not just a handful. seriously speaking, studies aint my priority. never was, never is and never will be.
if i could just turn back time. BUT doesnt moving on make a greater difference?
you are wiser. just tell me the answer.
can even say i'm half depressed.
sitting in TCC waiting for the crermony to start is the beginning of total self awareness of how not sociable i am.
i'm starting to pity myself and wondering what the hell i'm doing in a hospitality course when i cant even think of what to say to the 2 coursemates sitting beside me.
for over an hour, i almost sat in silence if they dont speak to me first.
i cant even think of an excuse of why we know each other's existance yet i dun even greet them when i see them.
maybe i keep to myelf and my circle of friends too much.
or maybe we just dont have the same frequency.
in my 3 years (2.5 actually), i've never felt this lost, this aimless.. hate this unanchored feeling and that whatever i think i did right as and might be wrong all the while. maybei should face each day with a smile and act as if i'm best friends with the pple walking on earth, or maybe i should adapt to my surroundings more so that i can at least blend in instead of blend out.
saw so many pple i think i'll never have the chance to see in future. so many familiar faces that i wanted to just walk up and say 'hey, congrats.' but the words slipped away before i even have the chance to face this eager side of me. find myself asking why i am wanting to try so hard to salvage the situation, this last chance ever..
the emptiness after the spotlight dims.. the flimsy piece of paper that weigh the same.. i didnt try hard enough all these while. all i wanted to do when i stepped into poly is to make more friends, get out of the quiet self in sec school but things seem to take a turn for the worse..
maybe i didnt try hard enough.
right now, i wished i could turn back time. meet the pple i want to meet, make sure i put in enough effort to at least know most of them and not just a handful. seriously speaking, studies aint my priority. never was, never is and never will be.
if i could just turn back time. BUT doesnt moving on make a greater difference?
you are wiser. just tell me the answer.
June 04, 2006
June 03, 2006
Oh F* blogger. Load so slow.
Aint in a very good mood. A fellow trainee chatted with me online and after 4 very short replies, she asked if I'm alright coz I dun seem to sound like me.
Damn.
Everything went wrong today - even the taxi driver!
I dunno whether it's me or what, but I ALWAYS ended up feeling crappy after taking cabs that are yellow in color.
The Kbox gathering session after work sux, big time.
Firstly, singing songs with a bunch of aunties vying for the mics aint a very happy thing.
Then, all their LOUD hokkien songs that I never heard of and they dun allow pple to move songs up ye they can do so themselves pissed me off big time.
Their out-of-tune yet still want to shout out loud singing styles make me imagine Dick Lee's face saying 'you're wasting my time. GET LOST!' in Singapore Idol auditions.
And they dun just hog the mics. They hog the remote!!
Out of the 3+ hrs there, I only managed to select and sing ONE song. How pathetic can that be? And that was because they went to the washroom!
Before the time is up, a colleague is rushing me to go home.
How much fun can that be if I went to a GATHERING session where I just sat there and listen to all those crap thinking 'how and why did I land myself in such deep shit?!'
Yes. The night is still young thus the nightmare isn't over.
I dun understand why they aint gracious enough to just let whoever book the room to link the stupid k point sunder their name. Why after the hog-mic-and-controller competition, they muz vie for the points? By the time I start to get irritated, someone is rushing me home again.
I aint a 5 year old child or Cinderella having to go home before the clock strikes. I have NO curfew. And I aint rushing. I made it very clear that we can just settle everything then make our way home since it's already over 12 and the midnight charge applies. So why must we rush. It doesn't matter whether we waste another 5 minutes coz there were LOTS of cabs!
Before I can even say bye, thanks and gdnight to the rest, I'm being rushed into this YELLOW cab. Damn it. Too late.
The driver named Yeo Chung H** with the carplate SHC 0*** sux, big time. I’m pissed enough to even rbr his name.
He drove off before I can close the damn door. We have another colleague living in the same area and the other colleague just say 'never mind'. I told the driver to just STOP THE DAMN CAB and he said later. He drove a distance up and just commented 'I just drive off ar, dun need to wait for your friend. They can take another cab.' Yes, he just drove off without me even replying. After we reached the first traffic light, he said 'taxi drivers dun take pple to more than 2 destinations on fri, sat and Sunday nights. At most 2.'
Oh, what the fuck!
1st time I ever heard of such crap.
When I tried explaining that I've shared cabs with my friends for so many times and all the while we dun have this problem of 'max 2 destinations' rule or what!
I think my colleague sensed that I'm pissed. She said 'I thought he's taking cab with someone else, since they're living nearer to each other. Btw, I've always thought they live somewhere near ang mo kio,' oh. Again, the word WTF kept flashing in my head. The WHOLE office knows they're not. I joined the dept much later than her yet I know and she doesn’t. oh fine.
Reached home feeling crappy. Never been to a gathering this tong ku before.
Please NEVER ask me to take yellow color cabs!
I prefer cabs blue in color starting with C****** and I almost always get the nice polite and friendly drivers. The journey feels much more smooth.
Kbox outings have never been such a pain and yellow cabs just joined topped my list of 'shuns'.
Plus I'm driving myself crazy coz I'm losing control.
Badly need a phone number that I can call at this stupid time of the night.
Need an outlet for crap. Before I lose total control, I'm going to bed.
Just sleep the heartache and anger off.
Tomorrow will be a fine day. Fine as in Face It – Coming to and End.
Aint in a very good mood. A fellow trainee chatted with me online and after 4 very short replies, she asked if I'm alright coz I dun seem to sound like me.
Damn.
Everything went wrong today - even the taxi driver!
I dunno whether it's me or what, but I ALWAYS ended up feeling crappy after taking cabs that are yellow in color.
The Kbox gathering session after work sux, big time.
Firstly, singing songs with a bunch of aunties vying for the mics aint a very happy thing.
Then, all their LOUD hokkien songs that I never heard of and they dun allow pple to move songs up ye they can do so themselves pissed me off big time.
Their out-of-tune yet still want to shout out loud singing styles make me imagine Dick Lee's face saying 'you're wasting my time. GET LOST!' in Singapore Idol auditions.
And they dun just hog the mics. They hog the remote!!
Out of the 3+ hrs there, I only managed to select and sing ONE song. How pathetic can that be? And that was because they went to the washroom!
Before the time is up, a colleague is rushing me to go home.
How much fun can that be if I went to a GATHERING session where I just sat there and listen to all those crap thinking 'how and why did I land myself in such deep shit?!'
Yes. The night is still young thus the nightmare isn't over.
I dun understand why they aint gracious enough to just let whoever book the room to link the stupid k point sunder their name. Why after the hog-mic-and-controller competition, they muz vie for the points? By the time I start to get irritated, someone is rushing me home again.
I aint a 5 year old child or Cinderella having to go home before the clock strikes. I have NO curfew. And I aint rushing. I made it very clear that we can just settle everything then make our way home since it's already over 12 and the midnight charge applies. So why must we rush. It doesn't matter whether we waste another 5 minutes coz there were LOTS of cabs!
Before I can even say bye, thanks and gdnight to the rest, I'm being rushed into this YELLOW cab. Damn it. Too late.
The driver named Yeo Chung H** with the carplate SHC 0*** sux, big time. I’m pissed enough to even rbr his name.
He drove off before I can close the damn door. We have another colleague living in the same area and the other colleague just say 'never mind'. I told the driver to just STOP THE DAMN CAB and he said later. He drove a distance up and just commented 'I just drive off ar, dun need to wait for your friend. They can take another cab.' Yes, he just drove off without me even replying. After we reached the first traffic light, he said 'taxi drivers dun take pple to more than 2 destinations on fri, sat and Sunday nights. At most 2.'
Oh, what the fuck!
1st time I ever heard of such crap.
When I tried explaining that I've shared cabs with my friends for so many times and all the while we dun have this problem of 'max 2 destinations' rule or what!
I think my colleague sensed that I'm pissed. She said 'I thought he's taking cab with someone else, since they're living nearer to each other. Btw, I've always thought they live somewhere near ang mo kio,' oh. Again, the word WTF kept flashing in my head. The WHOLE office knows they're not. I joined the dept much later than her yet I know and she doesn’t. oh fine.
Reached home feeling crappy. Never been to a gathering this tong ku before.
Please NEVER ask me to take yellow color cabs!
I prefer cabs blue in color starting with C****** and I almost always get the nice polite and friendly drivers. The journey feels much more smooth.
Kbox outings have never been such a pain and yellow cabs just joined topped my list of 'shuns'.
Plus I'm driving myself crazy coz I'm losing control.
Badly need a phone number that I can call at this stupid time of the night.
Need an outlet for crap. Before I lose total control, I'm going to bed.
Just sleep the heartache and anger off.
Tomorrow will be a fine day. Fine as in Face It – Coming to and End.
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