Before i start on my recreational activities like youtubing or slacking, i beter start tidyng up this place a little more to prevent cobwebs!!
I guess life hasnt been smooth sailing ever since i graduated. to make it worse, i've been doing stuff i wont usually do.
things like going to the library. my head was saying: who has the time?!
but somehow my feet brought me to the last place my mind wanted to be.
it's not the time of the month but somehow i cant seem to bring my spirits up. the weirdest thing is that when i'm going through phases of anguish, or when my mental and emotional strength is not on par, i have the urge to go for a jog. to hear my heartbeat. and so i did.
for pple who are aware of how much i 'like' sports and exercise, you'll definitely know the feeling of rewarding myself with a BIG bag (sometimes 2) of chips and a bar of chocolate after that. together with a nice cup of hot beverage. woo-hoo. that's what i call indulgence. double the endorphines, double the happiness.
the fact that it's the i have the feeling of belongingness the first timei stepped into sch puzzled me. i was thinking what-the-hell is wrong with me. i shld be nervous and extremely uneasy- that's how i would normally feel. but then, i wasnt exactly normal recently. was i??
had dinner with my relatives the other day and halfway thru the dinner, a small accident happened. the uncle at the table next to ours performed this super stunt- his beer bottle slipped and somehow most of the beer got me. my world stopped spinning for half a second - make that 2. then things began happening in slow mo. my aunt gathering tissues. the tables around us turned to look at what's going on - me. my hair was dripping with beer foam and half my top was wet. but that wasnt the issue. my reaction was. by right i should experience anger, then embarrasement, then anger again. or at least show discomfort or irritance. i couldnt feel a trace of the above-mentioned emotions. if i remembered correctly, it doesnt really matter that much to me. i even said 'it's okay' to the uncle before he muttered 'sorry'.
i did ask myself what's with the suay-ness the next day. but that's all. should i be entitled to blow-top-hot-temper-grumble-complain-nonstop effect?? but somehow, it really doesnt matter. maybe i've succeeded in surbing my foul temper. or maybe it's suppressed to perfection. either way, i should be congratulating myself on this.
i'm not really a music-passion kinda person.. so i surprised myelf by enjoying collection of Jazz songs frm the CDs that i borrowed frm my beloved cuzzie. she's the best.
can you not imaigne drifting off to wonderland with the feeling of being enveloped in songs like 'just the way you are' or 'aint no sunshine' and even the very classic- what a wonderful world.
i the small dark bedroom, it feels as if the words are floating around, welcoming you to a special world. all i wanna do is to embrace that and get lost in magic.
it's like going to bed with a smile on your face and bringing with you the feeling of being protected knowing that you'll definitely going to have a great night sleep and waking up to face the morning even better than the day before simply because: who will start a day off terribly when you ended it in perfection?
maybe my mind went as wild as my imagination. but i'm lovin' it.
Hasnt got to doing things i wanna do. like taking a day off so that i can spend it wasting the whole afternoon being myself. i can already see myself in a nice coffee outlet somewhere quiet, with a good book and some nice music alone. recharging, finding the way back to the starting point.
pple have bee telling me how fortunate i am to be able to study somemore and not sharing the family's burden finacially. to those who think they wont be able to get a degree this lifetime coz they're just not as clever as half the friends you know, please. all you need is the determination, and a little belief in yourself. really. in a place like s'pore, your IQ and hardwork is no longer an issue. money is.
--- We live in such a fast-moving society that when we are faced
with spare time the first thing that fills it is panic ---
Slow-down your life, wont you. i guess i managed to.
that explains the whole lot of crap i've posted above. right? no?
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