This is the funniest comic strip i've seen in sometime.

Aint in the mood for mugging. I'm so going to flunk my Econs. I totally understand the sense of helplessness now. The questions running through my head but my hands dont know how to coordinate. My fingers on the calculator but dunno what to input. My thoughts racing, aimless and on the verge of giving up. i can hear the soft tapping of calculators everywhere ard me. I guess i'm getting paranoid. But that doesnt explain the lack of preparation for the paper and the fact that i'm so screwed that the best i can hope for is a C. It's so demoralising and being my first semester, it isnt really a very good start. Plus Considering yesterday's paper was a flop as well. For the two 35 marks questions, i wrote like 2 pages each. the booklet is 10 pages and the girl in fornt of me took 2 booklets! i wonder what she's writing. her hands never stop moving! and i blame myself for not being focus enough. it's so crap. the place is errie. No one left the hall before time's up. all of them stayed till the last minute. Everyone is so discipline, so determine to do their best, i can feel the difference.

oh well, i guess i really am paranoid. and it sucks sitting thru the paper feeling crappy. I cant stop sneezing and i cant breathe well coz of my stupid nose. my eyes cant seem to open properly coz i ant stop sneezing and i finally succumb to temptation and took medicine. i hate this feeling of weakness. damn. shldnt hav gone to the BBQ last saturday. guess it's the food. i had too large a serving.

my sis's prom tonight. at mandarin. mine was 4 years ago. the fun, walking in town in the middle of the night, chatting in the hotel room, phototaking, yes. phototaking.

There's this article from Voices, Today, dated 22 Nov titled Dying For Love.

The writer ended the article with "If all this strikes a painfully familiar chord with you, I would suggest you start by finding out your grandparents' names. I only found out my grandfather's name when he died- and I never told him how much he meant to me."

Have we all acquired the same mindset that names aint important if you remember and know someone as a person? or that since life's expectancy is supposed to be an average of 80 so for whatever age that he/she is lower, we still have time? what an illusion. Time is never on our side.

This week is granparents' week. Have you done anything? anything at all? I did.

100th day. From the day he left.

Study week is here and is the best time to study (YEAH RIGHT!). Ended up doing all the want-tos and returning home 6 hours later AND 150 bucks lighter in my pocket. Spent yet another day reading like 2 chapters of the lecture notes, out of the 13 that i'm supposed to UNDERSTAND.

Was told that human's fate and personality undergo a change every 5 years or so. But mine didn't seem to. I did that DISC thing twice and both yield the same results. This Enneagram thingy is the same. I am type FIVE- the Observers.

Here are the results:
Observers have a need for knowledge (NOT really. this applies only to knowledge that i find interesting) and are introverted (as if i dunno), curious (AHEM!), analytical (WOW), and insightful (I didnt know about that).

How to Get Along with Me

• Be independent, not clingy.
• Speak in a straightforward and brief manner.
• I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.
• Remember that If I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant, it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.
• Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.
• If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place.
• don't come on like a bulldozer.
• Help me to avoid my pet peeves (LOLX): big parties, other people's loud music, overdone emotions, and intrusions on my privacy.

What I Like About Being a Five

• standing back and viewing life objectively
• coming to a thorough understanding; perceiving causes and effects
• my sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure (YEAH! ^.^v)
• not being caught up in material possessions and status (hopefully)
• being calm in a crisis ( this i'm not so sure. i am NOT that calm in a crisis)

What's Hard About Being a Five

• being slow to put my knowledge and insights out in the world
• feeling bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all
• being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be
• watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally (yeap. why shldnt people who work hard derserve better? But there's no denying social skills are more important in life.)

Fives as Children Often

• spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
• have a few special friends rather than many
• are very bright and curious and do well in school (NOT TRUE. I am so NOT curious and didnt do well in primary school either)
• have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers (parents YES. teachers NO. NOw i regret. Shld've bombard my teachers with a million and one questions to make their career more interesting! haa)
• watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
• assume a poker face (TRUE!) in order not to look afraid
• are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
• feel intruded upon and controlled and/or ignored and neglected (yeap. it's as if no matter what they do, there's sth that's always lacking.. Bad attitude i know, comparisions and more comparisons)

Some time-out ytd.
Was rather pissed with myself for sleeping in till the late afternoon and waking up for diner instead of breakfast. Very angry at myself for not having done anything related to the coming exams. So i went to release my pent-up emotions via an efficient outlet. Recharged, and ready to go but NOT in the mugging area. I ended up packing my drawer AND rearranging my notes, which both come up to a HUGE pile. The notes make me so depressed and i wonder how i am able to get started. Tried very hard to recall what i did during the study-week in poly and realised i cant even remember. i think i studied for the last few subjects first and ended off the week with the more recent papers. I THINK. seriously speaking, i think i will sit back and recall all these nonsense AFTER the exams and think - WHAT A JOKE. that is, if i managed to clear everything. and really, i think i'm able to, if i quit blogging and doing things that arent on the top of my prority list right now. Sorry, correction. shld be things that SHOULD NOT be on my priority list right now. But unimportant things seem to get more urgent the more you don't want to think about them. i think it's call relative comparison or sth. So today is sunday, i spent another half a day slacking and will be spending another half day with my aunts and cousins, plus having steamboat for dinner. GOSH~ can life get any better?

Got back Sociology term paper yesterday and wasn't I surprised when I realized I didn't get a C for this paper?! We got a B+, which is considered VERY good to me, in regards to my tutor's expectations and my perception of grades.

The semester ended well, good enough for me to rejoice. From now on it's one week of battle, then a month of rest. Really hope I dun screw up my first semester, like I did in poly. Sometimes it's really not an issue of being competitive and wanting to win, but rather- knowing that u could have done better yet didn't put in enough effort. I guess what I dun want to, is to feel a tinge of guilt.

Now that I've successfully taken the first step and halfway through the race, all I need to do is to have my eyes set on the finishing line and await the moment. But before I do that, I have to prepare myself for the 'dying/flying process'.

Try your best, is it good enough?
If not, your best was simply not good enough.
Do your best. But how do you know it is your best?
Because you don't, you don't have any reason not to try harder.
The realization of this is what leads to the best, to perfection.

I got an A for my marketing ind assignment! Finally ONE subject i think i am able to do relatively alright compared to others. At least i know my hard work of research and report writing paid off. Had a combine tutorial with another class today and boy~ if i haven mention enough about uni people being insane, they are- 100% perfectionist. I overheard someone from another tutorial group saying 'I didn't get an A+' in the kinda disappointed tone. The 4-letter word pops up. No worries. i mean the word W-H-A-T!! My groupmates were asking if poly students behave the way uni students do. So i told them NO WAY. at least from what i know, C is considered a grade in poly, not only A+. lolx...

The libraries were packed with people. The study areas are filled with students with books and papers all over. Seriously speaking, they need a break. I can hear a pin drop in there so i wonder how they can study in that plaze that is half frozen. And they're entending the opening hours to like 24 hrs.. OMG~

BTW, the Bush visit to the sch caused much of an inconvenience to me. i took like 2 hours just to get home coz they blocked the roads. I was trapped in the bus waiting for HIS limo to pass by before the traffic can move and just for him, there's a jam all the way from Kent Ridge Cresent to Ngee Ann Poly.

I guess being in the right mood brings about good luck. I am FINALLY able to do ONE question out of the entire module's assignments and case studies for Econs. I am so proud of myself. all thanks to marketing. and hearing the remark 'I think ur answer is correct- i can't get the calculations right' from those scholars is a mega happiness booster.

OMG~

my TP account is still active, meaning i canstill login with my old password and matric numer, which i remember! omg~! i'm so excited. this is the first time i checked since i graduated and the 1st mail that i see is the FHA one. i was cursing and swearing- what did i NOT check my mailbox JUST AFTER graduation? i missed like a fantastic opportunity to enjoy good food and wine with friends! yeap. sianz sianz sianz sianz sianz.

still, i'm glad TP hasnt forget about me. or rather,the computer system still enables me to login.

Usually i skip the sports section in newspapers.

Actually not totally. They have to come up with a really nice cutesy title in order to catch my attention. So this journalist did, and he named it "Cotton wool, and a kid named Tiger."

The article is on Tiger woods, who is supposed to be the world no. 1 golfer (not anymore i guess).

Some of the things i noted:
[Wonder how much of the cotton wool is of his own decor]
[Maybe i shall design to visit him again in 10 years, when he is 40, and bring along a cap and a magic marker. If he does stop to sign, it would be a signature worth keeping, i think, for who knows what else he would have achieved in the game over the next decase. If not, i can wait till he's 50.]

Love that. The beauty of the job of a journalist.

Totally agree on what BL says on her blog:

[Home is for free expression and inspiration , not for good impression]

but is it a valid reason why the closest people around us always get the nasty effects of rude response, mood-swings and the more negative side of our personality? do we even take that expression for granted and think that as family, it is only right that they see the worst side of us? and get the s*** that others wont get, even though it might not be their fault in the first place??

yeap. i guess that happens to me.. uncontrollable release of agression and frustrations in the comfort of one's home. it's like returning to a safe pier for repair and maintenance before we go in search of new places and destinations.. i take for granted the tolerance of my family, and am reassured that no matter what i do, i'll be forgiven and loved. it's a selfish and evil thought. maybe that's what others call bond?

the time of the year has come for reflection and more reflections. partly because of the season, but more as a result of the upcoming exams. has always been like that. nearing the exam period where i know time is running out, i'll have a million and one things to do EXCEPT getting started. i am lying if i say the stress dont get into me. a friend was telling me she aims to be like me, to really enjoy uni life for the next 3 years, 4 if possible, and not let the pressure bug me. then again, how was she able to just 'determine' how i react to the environment around me when i, myself cant even do that? i am trying hard not to get too uptight about the stupid papers at the end of the month but the more i resist the thought of being pressurized, the more i seem to be affected. and the problem now is, how can i prioritize my work such that i finish my 3 assignments on time for submission AND then START going through the webcasts for those lectures that i've slept thru (like ALL of them!!)...

besides not doing all of the above, i've started to watch shows.. mediacorp shows, the project superstarII.. sometimes an episode or two of american next top model, sometimes extreme makeover, sometimes taiwan variety progs, and not to forget korean shows and anime.. and all these are slowing climbing the chart of my priority list. it's frustrating knowing the cause but cant find a cure for it. am so looking forward to Dec.. AFTER the exams, the attend my cousin's wedding.. (1st of all my cousins).. after my uncle's.. which was like donkey years ago (maybe 8).. i'm so looking forward to be affected by the happiness.. and isnt it sweet to get married in the best season of the year?

Pple, please watch 'Behind Enemy Lines' tomorrow at channel5.. 20:30...

This is one movie i watched 'by accident' and not by choice coz movie tix for the popular shows were sold out. but i'm glad at this 'by chance' coincidence.. the show is awesome!!!

Gosh~ can't believe it's Friday yet again. Thank God.

music on playback.. on and on and on.. like Do Until loops in IT1801.. the VBA should look sth like this:

sub songs ()
Dim song As String
song=Application.WindowsMediaPlayer.Library.songlist
song.Activate
Do Until song=have a little more faith in me
If song <> have a little more faith in me Then
Do Until song=have a little more faith in me
Range("Library").offset(song,0).value=song
song=song+1
Loop
End If
song=song+1
Loop
End sub

should be sth like the above but think i need to debug the procedure.. sth is wrong somewhere.. felt like a wrongly written proocedure.. one that has infinite loops.. such that the com hangs.. and i want December to come faster.. after reading papers on tourism, i need a "well-deserved break" to "get away".. delight at the thought of going through "liminoid" situations. my marketing tutor asked what's my plan for December. told him i need to get the exams over and done with first, then most probably work to earn some pocket money for the break.. i want a holiday. But who's going with me?

Pple have already started mugging for the exams, which happens to be like 27 days away (thanks to MF, who started the countdown yesterday)..

here i am, struggling with a sociology paper and a programming project.. one due next wek and one the week after.. goodness gracious.. the proj scope is horrendous.. i need to do readings, readings AND more readings.. and my tutor is an absolute horroe. he actually told the class that he takes delight in giving students D..

the people there are driving me crazy.. i am having a hard time reassuring myself that everything will be fine.. and i wonder when i'm able to catch up.. think NEVER.

yah. this is the time i think the strange is familiar. maybe i can be a sociologist in future?
and i've always been living in square concrete boxes, and will be doing so for my whole life.. so who on earth cares if it's an experiment or not? we're used to it. at least singaporeans are.