Totally agree on what BL says on her blog:

[Home is for free expression and inspiration , not for good impression]

but is it a valid reason why the closest people around us always get the nasty effects of rude response, mood-swings and the more negative side of our personality? do we even take that expression for granted and think that as family, it is only right that they see the worst side of us? and get the s*** that others wont get, even though it might not be their fault in the first place??

yeap. i guess that happens to me.. uncontrollable release of agression and frustrations in the comfort of one's home. it's like returning to a safe pier for repair and maintenance before we go in search of new places and destinations.. i take for granted the tolerance of my family, and am reassured that no matter what i do, i'll be forgiven and loved. it's a selfish and evil thought. maybe that's what others call bond?

the time of the year has come for reflection and more reflections. partly because of the season, but more as a result of the upcoming exams. has always been like that. nearing the exam period where i know time is running out, i'll have a million and one things to do EXCEPT getting started. i am lying if i say the stress dont get into me. a friend was telling me she aims to be like me, to really enjoy uni life for the next 3 years, 4 if possible, and not let the pressure bug me. then again, how was she able to just 'determine' how i react to the environment around me when i, myself cant even do that? i am trying hard not to get too uptight about the stupid papers at the end of the month but the more i resist the thought of being pressurized, the more i seem to be affected. and the problem now is, how can i prioritize my work such that i finish my 3 assignments on time for submission AND then START going through the webcasts for those lectures that i've slept thru (like ALL of them!!)...

besides not doing all of the above, i've started to watch shows.. mediacorp shows, the project superstarII.. sometimes an episode or two of american next top model, sometimes extreme makeover, sometimes taiwan variety progs, and not to forget korean shows and anime.. and all these are slowing climbing the chart of my priority list. it's frustrating knowing the cause but cant find a cure for it. am so looking forward to Dec.. AFTER the exams, the attend my cousin's wedding.. (1st of all my cousins).. after my uncle's.. which was like donkey years ago (maybe 8).. i'm so looking forward to be affected by the happiness.. and isnt it sweet to get married in the best season of the year?