Good things come in threes. Really they do.

Partnered some great peeps at work and managed to get through one of those dreaded moments. Easy-going peeps whom i think have the same mindset as me. Work is just work. An avenue for money. Let's just not make things dirty. Get through the hours together. You happy, i happy. Paycheck end of the month even happier.

Gina called. Seems like they are in need of some help.. and (they think) i can somehow lessen the impact thru introducing process standardization.. Different products, same equipment. It's almost like subordinating to work around bottlenecks.. and wanna guess what's in store for me?

It feels good to have them calling to ask me how's school and such.. It makes me feel like i'm at the top of their list if they are in dire straits. Not really indispensable. No one is. But i'm the number one backup. An exception. They'll (she will) work something out for me regarding the casual labour 'rule'. Love that place stashed away in a corner of the basement, unappreciated and forgotten by the entire management except colleagues of your own department.

Seems like the almighty Lee is still calling the shots there. Boo. That means that if i continue to see more of him, it'll be almost like a Dec crash course in baby-sitting.

That super flexible place. If i work there then i'll be able to coordinate my timing very well. That means MM for 8 hours followed by shows in the evenings. That means i'll be able to max out my hours AND energy this holiday. Something like 9-5 and 6.30-11. lolx.. Then Maybe twice or trice a week at that new place. Let's just see. One step at a time i guess.. =)

See. Good things come in threes.. E-P-M.

Seriously, kids nowadays are ... **Speechless** That guy must have been at most 16. 17 tops. And do i really look THAT young? gosh~ And why are there so many U-21s around me recently? ARGH. I don't need reminder. I know. I'm 18.

It makes a world of difference to me to have someone say 'Let's trash it out' if something really did happen instead of relying on time to 'heal all wounds and mend friendships.'
Especially sensitive issues regarding work. Gives me the reassurance that no matter what, our friendship comes first. The rest takes a backseat.

I never was, never am and never will be good with expressing myself. Therefore for a friend to make it clear that 'let's not get upset over trivial stuffs' is a great way for me to know that no matter what others say, the other party will definitely listen to what i have to say. not just hear.

-------------------------------

and i can't get those songs out of my mind.

TRULY SCRUMPTIOUS LYRICS:
Toot sweets sound like what they are
So do lollys in a lollypop jar
Gingerbread men have a gingerbread sound, we've found
Sugar plum cinnamon and lemon tart tell you what they are right from the
start
And your name does the same for you
By coincidence, Truly Scrumptious
You're truly truly scrumptious
Scrumptious as a cherry peach parfait
When your near us
It's so delicious
Honest Truly, you're the answer to our wishes
Truly Scrumptious
Though we may seem presumptuous
Never, never, ever go away
Our hearts beat so unruly
Because we love you truly
Honest Truly, we do
Truly scrumptious
You two are truly scrumptious
Scrumptious as the breeze across the bay
When you're smiling
It's so delicious
So beguiling
You're the answer to my wishes
Truly scrumptious
You two are truly scrumptious
And I shan't forget this lovely day
My heart beats so unruly
I also love you truly
Honest truly, I do

----------------------------------------------------------

HUSHABYE MOUNTAIN LYRICS:
A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain
Softly blows o'er lullaby bay.
It fills the sails of boats that are waiting--
Waiting to sail your worries away.
It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain
And your boat waits down by the key.
The winds of night so softly are sighing--
Soon they will fly your troubles to sea.
So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain.
Wave good-bye to cares of the day.
And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain
Sail far away from lullaby bay.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

DOLL ON A MUSIC BOX:
What do you see
You people gazing at me
You see a doll on a music box
That's wound by a key
How can you tell
I'm under a spell
I'm waiting for love's first kiss
You cannot see
How much I long to be free
Turning around on this music box
That's wound by a key
Yearning
Yearning
While
I'm turning around and around

It's the holidays.

No matter how things go, work is still work if i can't find a suitable place to channel my passion.

To happier things..
Ushered in the holidays and festive season with some good news.
I got my very first paycheck for this new part time work!
We'll be able to head down to pay the balance and get ready for the trip in a matter of days.
Arranged for a movie outing with a friend then I realised that my fav on-screen actor Josh is starring in 30 days of night. and the setting is in Alaska!
talk about coincidences..

Another typical day has passed. Just like that. I don't like any of the post-exams syndromes.
Doesn't feel like i just cleared my papers in a matter of hours.
Seems like i'm already halfway through the holidays.
The unanchored feeling. Exams give you a reason to work towards a common goal.
Like a dimming spotlight that fades into nothingness.
The emptiness after the papers, leaving the packing and clearing to the last possible moment. Just like fallen leaves rustling in the wind. directionless.

Exams make me feel good about myself.

I like having a goal to work towards.
A short-term goal that is within reach, regardless of the results.

A decision that you can make keeping in mind that there's no use running coz there's nowhere to escape to; and no use giving up thinking of the possibility to restart somewhere coz no one can really start anew. At least not for those who has one hand on the past.

Read this one-liner from an article:
The opposite of loneliness isn't company, it's return. A place to return.

See. We rely too much on the anchored feeling.

In half a day's time I'll officially complete my Year 2 Sem 1.

I think my insomnia during this period is a gift, minus the dozing during the actual papers. Serious. At least i have ample time to prepare.

A kind invigilator woke me up from dreamland in the middle of com med paper. Quietly, politely. So there's no moment of embarrassment. Yeah. As if that applies to me. Barely made it through half the MCQs.. Qn 34 or 36 if I'm not wrong.

The difference between the outstanding ones and me is the expectation of grades. Frankly speaking, I can't imagine having the need to S/U a module which i obtain B+ for. Hey. That's a cap of 4 for goodness sake. An additional B+ instead of the accumulation of those shld-be-forsaken others.

Slacker

Couldn't help but feel amazed.

I must be the slackest person i see for miles.

Have yet to memorize commed and SCM.

What am i proving?

That i stand by my belief that my worth and knowledge shldnt be reduced to the figures on a transcript?

Or that i AM still indifferent to those seemingly important stuff at this point in time.

Something is telling me that priorities lie somewhere out there.
Not on pieces of papers with blanks for model answers anyway.

Sickening insomnia

Let's just see if it's just one of the pre-exams syndromes.

Sickening insomnia.

My laptop is officially on strike. It allows me to log into msn but refuses to do anything from that point on.

My hand phone is PMSing.. It shuts off as and when it likes, especially after replying a couple of smses. Then before i could even be mad at the inefficiency, it performs as usual.

So here i am, behaving just like my belongings.. My brain is on strike-mental block. My body is procrastinating-sluggish and lethargic. They're not cooperating to make my study week a smooth one.

So i am better utilising my time blogging than staring at the SAME lecture notes for hours, with constant half-hearted attempts to will myself to stay awake and FOCUS.

After this i plan to put my precious weekend to better use like having supper to please myself so that my body can be contented enough to start its engine instead of always being in standby mode.

Random thoughts on lyrics

Everywhere i turn, i see-
The strangers whose faces I know.

---

This happens when you'd rather remain indecisive-
Someone choose who's left and who's leaving.

---

Trapped on the road to eternity, thinking just how long everything lasts-
All this time lingers, undefined.

---

Change. Change is the only constant.
So all i wish is for everything to remain as they are, only better-

New words for old desires.

-----------------------------------------------------

Randomness aplenty.
Maybe it's time to set the archives back in my old blog.
More random stuff anyway.

The older we get, the more we learn to let go, or the more we should learn to hold on?

Like Tina's new blogskin. The header is:

Some of us think holding on makes us strong;
but sometimes it is letting go.

Have that in many of my entries. Holding on or letting go.
Haven't i mention that letting go has been one of my major weaknesses?
and recently I've been thinking if both are actually on the same side of the scales.

This study week marks yet another of the end of the semester period. Another phase in life i know I'll soon bid farewell to. Another left-to-fret-in-future problem regarding the semi-annual tuition loan.

Seems like besides enjoyment, studying is just one payment after another. Despite the fact that i am optimistic about the future, i still find that piece of paper rather worthless. At the end of it all, i might be pretty much the same as what i was. If it's not for the fortune of being born in a superficial society, i guess there will not be a need to do what i am doing and striving for.

My youngest sis will be getting her PSLE results tomorrow. Seriously, i kinda pity her. 10 years down the road she'll be where i am if everything goes smoothly and things will be vastly different compared to what i am experiencing while i will get my butt out of the warming track in a matter of months and head on into the rat race.

and i wonder just how long more it will be before i stop looking at life in the perspective of a gamer, in particular in the sense of a person playing Sims.

The other day i dreamt that i somehow know i am going to die with a friend behind the wheels on an upwards winding road. Then i refused to allow my thoughts to flow just the way it wanted to and forced the automobile to swerve. I managed to get out of the car alive. but wondered if that's the right thing to do.

If dreams are simulations for life's situations, i guess mine will never be an interesting and challenging one. After all, that's what the reset/restart button is for. To get the sense of accomplishment after conquering something, with the criteria of easy defeats before the victory is won.

I know I'm insane, coz i make no sense. But somehow it doesn't seem to matter in this place where logic doesn't count for anything. Maybe it's the pre-exam syndrome. Those times where energy is diverted to nonsensical issues instead of focusing on studies. Skilled procrastinator. we all are but the difference between you and me is that i practise on the ordinary stuff, A LOT.

*puke

That's so very rude.

----------------------

Anyway, watched Saw IV and there's nothing much besides the usual gore. The cut bodies/ skull/ organs up. Rip hair off head, hack each other for survival. Mechanism smashing up head, piercing eyes and to torture oneself in order to seek redemption. seriously i have had enough of all those rubbish that it makes Saw IV the same as watching the makings of Saw I, II and III. When can they come up with some brilliant thriller/horror flicks that can somewhat chill my bones instead of just making me feel uneasy??

Met my slacking khaki from PP and turned to find some other familiar half frowning. -_-"'
Rmbr our fav tea break at 10 in the cafeteria.
Chatting at the foyer instead of standing near the driveway.
Being mistaken for being twins and having pple mixed up our names.
Having guests who think i am part of the group crew instead of a staff.
Watching the Christmas lightings on the streets and numerous London cabs passing by.

I certainly hope i changed for the better. If i did change in the first place.

Motivation eaten by the lazy bug.

Energy dampened by the rainy season.

So what can i do when i am irritated at myself?

Laugh?

Over and over

Over and over by Nana Mouskouri

Originally a Russian Yiddish folksong titled Tum Balalaika. Chanced upon it at some event and fell in love with its catchy tune and Yiddish language. Found that there's an English version titled over and over.

----------------------------------------------------
Tum Balalaika lyrics direct translation:

A young lad stands and thinks
Thinks and thinks the whole night
Whom to take and not to embarrass [the others]?
Whom to take and not to embarrass?

Tumbala, Tumbala, Tumbalalaika
Tumbala, Tumbala, Tumbalalaika
Tumbalalaika, strum balalaika
Tumbalalaika, may we be happy

Girl, girl, let me ask you
What can grow, grow without rain
What can burn and never end
What can yearn, cry without tears

Foolish lad, why do you have to ask?
A stone can grow, grow without rain
Love can burn endlessly
A heart can yearn, cry without tears

What is taller than a house?
What is swifter than a mouse?
What is deeper than a well?
And what is bitter, more bitter than gall?

A chimney is taller than a house
A cat is swifter than a mouse
The Torah is deeper than a well
Death is bitter, more bitter than gall

post-sem syndrome

fatigue sets in overnight.

Seems like everything gave way after the prolong tensed-slacking session during the term.

Maybe.

So apologies for appearing bored/indifferent/tired. Can't help it.

Inspired by 'we are the young'

Can't seem to find this particular song by Mary Donnelly titled "we are the young."
Strange that it is listed BUT no available lyrics.. and it happened to be some batch song of RI. Anyone knows anyone else from Raffles? Lolx...

This happy song meant to be sang by children.
of better tomorrows,
more love- teach the young how to care and share,
simplicity and
hope.

Happened to be at an acoustically excellent venue when that song was sang by a choir of children.
More than a hundred of them, belting out wonders of faith and hope for better days..

It's amazing when this group of strangers paints such an optimistic picture of the future and beckons me to follow.. Giving me the assurance that everything good is just ahead, if i dare to step into the light. okay. THAT is a little off. but sometimes things happened when you're not exactly in the best of mood, and just as you subconsciously want to succumb to pressure or temptation.. someone up there drops a gigantic neon sign. as if he's directing you to look that way. guides you back on track and gives you vitamins boosts..

Can never fathom religion. Buddhist family but attended catholic school for half my lifetime. I pray to whoever is around just as i hold joss sticks and go to temples.. I'm not a freethinker coz i'm not a non-believer in religion.. so I guess what i believe in is belief itself??
a belief that no matter what, any good and kind being with higher power will want the good for mankind. It doesnt matter which side the scale is tipped but as we advance and embrace cosmopolitanism, my belief should be the norm.

yes. do what i like given that my actions will not change or affect anyone else

Do what i think is right. that should be more than enough.

Old blogskin, new colors, new font.
Not a speak of purple anywhere this time round.
And green is good for the eyes.

Comfortable with lots and lots of spaces and everything available at a glance.
Makes everything appears tidy and in order.

Illusion of control.

Met Hammy online. She's in Switzerland AND it's snowing over there..
I can almost imagine snow falling outside my windows (ya right. at a temperature of 27 degree C).

It's amazing how msn brings pple from different places together and that's why Thomas Friedman's bestseller is titled THE WORLD IS FLAT.

Met up with my 4A clique ytd for a super belated bdae celebration.
If you're reading this: THANKS GIRLS..

We went for tea-break at Sakae.. It was hard to imagine we were LIKE THEM 4 years back.. Chawanmushi with chilli oil, sweet sauce and mayo is still the best combi to date..

Headed to the restaurant serving fusion cuisine that Ching recommended. With a seating capacity of about 25 (super cosy) and a rather reasonable pricing, i wonder how they can make a profit.. Superb ambiance, friendly attentive service staff, great decor.. oh.. and the food! portion just right (might be a little small for guys though), tealight candle holder damn cute (shaped like a saucepan!).. and the most special thing i find about the restaurant is not the fusion cuisine, not the jap staff, not the ulu location, BUT THE BILL. the bill comes shaped like a hotel room key with tag. like OMG can.. (refer to picture)

I like that concept. and i dont think they can pull off that 'insane' idea without the cosy setting and decor to match.. unlike some bright restaurants with colors that are practically hinting for you to get ur butts moving once u finish ur food. and the fact that they have limited capacity makes you feel that they value each and every customer that comes thru their door.. and i realised their wait staff are well-trained. Their body language says it all. Even the smallest thing like clearing plates. From my seat, i noticed: extend left hand, reach out to clear plate of the innermost diner. extend right hand to support/guide the left hand. It's the small little things that matters.. they make an insignificant thing like clearing plates (for goodness sake) looks professional. Like you're actually dining in some posh place and the station staff is in black and white with coat. I guess their service won me over just by the body language.. laughs..

Guess it's a habit.. of most service staff to observe and compare.. and i've seen excellent staff in quick service restaurants as well.. so it's not that all good ones are in places where that 10% is mandatory.

Once again infected with the disease of the after-effects of the don't-give-a-damn syndrome.

Maybe.

It's nearing my favorite time of the year and as usual, the over-sensitive paranoid crazy extremist is back.. It's hard to have an attitude when it takes almost everything to be in control.

Procrastinating, procrastinating, procrastinating.
Looks like Charlotte aint going to visit this place for quite some time.

All the to-dos that i have yet to embark on together with all the have-tos locked in the closet while all the want-tos given free reign.

Seriously, there ain't any extra ounce of energy for people-pleasing.. Not worth the diverted effort anyway. Not this time round.

You can do better than that.
You can do better than that.
You can do better than that.

I think i can do better than that.
I can do better than that.
At least i think i do because you think i can.

--------------------------------------------

That particular day when i wasnt in the best of mood, i caught a waft of my favourite fragrance that sadly, ain't in production anymore. Couldn't track and identify the source of the scent but went home with this strange contentment, like i just met my long lost friend..

They descended to Earth disguised as human beings i guess, hidden amongst familiar surroundings and bringing comfort to everyday mundane life.

Forcefully stopped the scales from swaying.
It's high time i do so anyway.
Been walking along it for as long as i can remember..
and this time round, I've decided to put my stakes on opportunity instead of focusing on opportunity costs.

Finally saw my cousin's baby! *laughs

Cute cute sweet and nice-smelling little boy~! like omg~ the last time i carried a baby was 12 years ago, my youngest sis. *laugh

amazing.. years ago my cousin and i were learning how to play dai dee in the middle of the night at her house and she slipping out at night to party.. now she's a MOTHER. like WTH. It's amazing how time flies.. how we managed to grow up in the blink of an eye. or maybe two.

This baby is special. very very special. Initially his birthday was estimated to be on the same day as my 21st bdae. then the doc said that 1st child is usually born a couple of days earlier. seems like they all couldnt wait to come and see for themselves how wonderful and beautiful the world is.. Still, his bdae is so close to mine i couldnt help but feel exceptionally happy, as if we really are born on the same day. Like a perfect 21st bdae present.

Cant wait to see him again. But right now, first things first. Need to get thru that dreaded presentation and report by this week, followed by 2 CAs and an oral exam plus work.

Btw, did i mention that CCBB is a draggy show? Too much fantasies makes me yawn.. But hell, i'll get another chance to relive that experience. Maybe being IN is different. *shrug
shall wait and see.

ultimate WOLS i'm speechless. *Sigh

maybe i was a caveman in my previous life. and seriously i dont think i'm the only one. some pple are just cave-er than me.

Every now and then, someone places a pair of invisible wings on my back so that i can soar.

Thank you.