Beautiful day. Perfect weather.

A series of events happened lately.. which sadly, didnt seem to faze me..
Am just wondering just how much (more) time i am going to waste.. on all these stuff before i leap into the rat race..

And i seriously dunno just how much (more) indifferent i can get.. About everything.
Everything used to matter so much that even nothing matters. Now everything doesnt seem to matter so nothing matters at all. alright. and nothing seems to be the problem. yeah. nothing. and it's irritating that even when nothing matters, it still does. Maybe it's just me.

I think it's time for me to get away from all these clockwork stuff.. coz everywhere i turn, i see:
The good,
The bad, and
The ugly.

Situations with a million different possibilities being streamed into 3 simple categories. No matter how good or terrible i THINK certain things are, they're always not as good, or not as bad as i thought they will be.. and it's hard to breathe with the feeling of extremes closing in.. Like no matter where i turn, everything runs with that logic. So with that in mind, everyday is pretty much like all the others.. so how can i experience fluctuating emotions while holding that thought? No wonder the indifference. It's innate.

The routine-ness of the mundane happenings gets to me.. I need a place where i can experience liminality. and that's where i WILL BE soon. soon enough anyway.