All the excess heat, with nowhere to disperse, rises up to my brain and my head seems to be on the verge of exploding. okay, i am talking about my temper, not my brain.
I finally gotten down to sending the pictures that i promised Mike i'll send once my laptop is functioning. and that promise is like a good 2 months ago, a good 2 months ago when I'm comfortably enjoying the start of winter in Seoul.
I hate this feeling of looking back at the all smiley pictures in folders and thinking why i am still not contented after all the happy days that i've been through. I wonder why all happy stuffs seem so surreal and that i feel as if i've never even been away for the good part of last year. maybe that's how people in coma feel. The void that is almost non-existent.
Whatever!
and it doesnt help that the newspapers are full of travel promos that tell people to get away.
ARGH! I look at those and find it hard to convince myself that i'm still me despite all that has happened. Life in this practical place picks right off where i left it in the first place. and that irks me endless.
Giving thanks for the opportunities aplenty that never fail to present themselves should we have that bit of determination and courage. and the sad part is that everything balances. so with that brings the desire and greed to want more. The more one has, the more you're given; the more you'll expect, and the harder it is for one to feel contented. and that, is exactly how i feel now.
February 21, 2009
February 11, 2009
Current job market = :(
so i guess i should be grateful that i have a job.
Prof whatever's-his-name just mentioned in class this week that the org I am joining will most prob consider a pay cut, the 2nd ever in the firm's history. and he told us that the industry aint doing very well. negative 2% for last quarter and expected to fall this year. like thanks. so that means i can expect a decrease in expected income AND incentives when i jump head on into the rat race.
nothing seems to help nowadays. everything seems so bleak. and there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
i'm starting to have jitters about the uncertainty in life after uni education. work-life aint so easy to strike a balance. and i aint confident that i'll able to handle work like how a mature adult should. or rather, i guess the older i get the more risk adverse i am.. and yep. i'm afraid of failures, even before i start making any mistakes. plus it's a pain to even have a scratch on that clean slate that i start out with.
forced to move on, reluctantly.
there's so many things i want to do in life, and so little time to achieve all of that. A hospitality degree in Switzerland costs 60k a year and living expenses a good 40k. If i have 100k to further my education in the hospitality industry, maybe i'll trade that for 10 more diplomas in various fields. ok. i think i'm able to do only 9 with 60k but that'll take me like 27 more years to complete my education. Maybe i can then be the 1st person who has 10 diplomas in the guinness book of records. then i suppose i'll be another step closer to self-actualisation according to Maslow.
for now, i'll just make the most of the rest of the 3 months as a student-student. and be glad that i have no one to account to besides myself.
so i guess i should be grateful that i have a job.
Prof whatever's-his-name just mentioned in class this week that the org I am joining will most prob consider a pay cut, the 2nd ever in the firm's history. and he told us that the industry aint doing very well. negative 2% for last quarter and expected to fall this year. like thanks. so that means i can expect a decrease in expected income AND incentives when i jump head on into the rat race.
nothing seems to help nowadays. everything seems so bleak. and there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
i'm starting to have jitters about the uncertainty in life after uni education. work-life aint so easy to strike a balance. and i aint confident that i'll able to handle work like how a mature adult should. or rather, i guess the older i get the more risk adverse i am.. and yep. i'm afraid of failures, even before i start making any mistakes. plus it's a pain to even have a scratch on that clean slate that i start out with.
forced to move on, reluctantly.
there's so many things i want to do in life, and so little time to achieve all of that. A hospitality degree in Switzerland costs 60k a year and living expenses a good 40k. If i have 100k to further my education in the hospitality industry, maybe i'll trade that for 10 more diplomas in various fields. ok. i think i'm able to do only 9 with 60k but that'll take me like 27 more years to complete my education. Maybe i can then be the 1st person who has 10 diplomas in the guinness book of records. then i suppose i'll be another step closer to self-actualisation according to Maslow.
for now, i'll just make the most of the rest of the 3 months as a student-student. and be glad that i have no one to account to besides myself.
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