As usual, the week leading to hell week has nothing to contribute to my emotional well-being.

Need to seek the motive in motivation before things can get going.

and when that fails, fall back on heuristics to get things done.

One step at a time.

Maybe i don't have any.

I hear nothing of the best 5 qualities as of yet.

swaying scales

Been raining on off recently. Don't ask me why. I'm no weatherman.

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I ran a few searches regarding my suspicions. and yes, ask no questions and i'll tell you no lies.

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I guess certain things still holds its weight on the route to self-actualisation regardless of what i've said or done to convince myself.
And i'm beginning to feel that it is the trigger of the ripple effect.

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Every situation seems insignificant on its own.
But somehow combining them brings about an exponential effect.

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THE swaying scales.

Some days i dunno what to say anymore, or if anything matters.

Today i made the decision to terminate the account, yep. I felt like screaming i don't care but deep down i know i do.

that's life.

One step at a time. and i'm tired of all the things in line. i'm thinking of going fishing some day. just me, the pole, a good book, a stool and some nibbles. on a good day out.
or me, the rocking chair, a good book and a cup of tea on a rainy day.

somehow simplicity gets complicated with direct proportion to time. and i feel myself taking backward glances over and again. no wonder i was told i look sad. yep. forlorn i suppose.

can someone tell me my best 5 qualities to make my day?

Some friends reminded me that it's the start of week 9 today. as if i need any more reminders that the deadlines are fast approaching and i find myself procrastinating, as usual. like thanks.

somehow counting down the days doesnt seem half as bad if i'm looking at travel as the goal at the end of this period, not work. definitely not that.

Hate this characteristic of mine that can't follow what the norm is doing by sitting by and letting others do what they can while claiming ignorance. yes, i hate it with a PASSION.

and it is beginning to feel as if i set myself up for unhappiness.

that damn flaw.