Love the weather recently. Down my temper like water on fire.
Irritated. Quarreled with some people at work. and didn't do well in presentation.
Pulled up the damned rates by their 2nd meeting that seem to be all that they're looking at. And feeling like some stuffs are going to overflow soon if I don't keep things in check.
Some days I have a lot of drive. and really put in 101% of effort in every single detail, going through those things painstakingly, just hoping that I'll close off my shift with a decent good rate and not hand over shit to other people.
Some days I feel like hecking it. On days like that I remember that I used to have a nonchalant attitude and that I can put that to good use. I can tell them that there's nothing that I can do to improve on the situation, and yet still happily take the same pay at the end of the month, like a few others that I know. So today just happened to be one of those days where I feel like half threatening them. I feel very irritated. Frustrated that some days things go very well and people dont say a word and on 3 hours of lousy performance, they smack you in the head and make you see stars.
They're not convinced of my explanation, but I don't feel like saying that the ground staff are not cooperating today. that i got so mad at my no-show list that I feel like letting the time run on its own till whoever else is happy to complete the pending task, regardless of the time. and it doesnt help that the yard situation has been terok since last week. With all those boxes piling up in the yard, there is no way we can squeeze in additional containers into that limited space. So my resources keep running round and round waiting to be served by a more efficient machine.
kind of tired after awhile. The kind of disappointment that comes with every lousy rate. But with that comes the adrenaline rush that i enjoy so much whenever things go smoothly because of pre-planning and luck.
I don't even feel like screaming anymore. I feel like wailing like a kid and waiting for someone to come with a candy to cheer me up.
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