I used to think my strength is nothing but patience, patience and more patience. Like many others, one of my aspirations is to be a childcare teacher/helperwatever-u-call-the-position. I ONCE thought that early childhood is a great choice for my future career because i thought that my personality suits that of a caregiver.. well, i was wrong.

i never know kids can be as irksome as my cousin. throughout last night's dinner, i was trying my bestest to stop myself from strangling him. and i was thinking why dont his parents give him a tight slap so that he'll learn his lessons not to misbehave? i thought reward and punishment are the two ways to make sure learning is achieved. whatever it is, i didnt really enjoy my dinner, which is supposed to be fantastic coz we had buddha jump over the wall, pork ribs, and my fav yam paste.. the dinner cost a bomb but somehow i had a terrible time..

I didnt regret not blogging last night.. if not it'll be paragraphs and paragraphs of complaints, comments and grumbles.. i'm trying very very very hard to curb my anger and annoyance.. and i'm glad we dont see each other often.. i dont want to start training for high blood pressure anytime soon. please, i need more patience, forgiveness and total blindness when i'm with them.

and i FINALLY started on my calculus.. it's irritating knowing that whatever i studied will only be useful for that 2 hours.. and whatever effort i put in for my poly education will result in a figure printed on a cert, represented by my grades.. then how can my future employer judge my growth in these 3 years?? how can they then be able to know whether i can get along well with others, the way i work and the type of worker i am? and i am in no right to complain coz i live in a society where everything boils down to numbers.. results and grades weight nothing.
i want people to employ me because of my attitude. not my qualifications. and this cannot be done because i live in a superficial society.

----------------------------------------------------

did this online test thingy.. and the results say that my mood tends to swing between passive and calm.

Most of the time you feel passive. Passivity is experienced as a stillness in mind and body.
You probably focus more on quietude than the emotional ups and downs of good and bad moods.
When you feel calm, your positive outlook on life is paired with a fairly low energy level.
Although you might not realize it, your lower energy level is a positive attribute, allowing you to fully experience and appreciate your feelings of optimism.
When you experience the ups and downs of mood swings, the most important thing to remember is that you're not alone.
Everyone—even the calmest individual—is liable to fly off the handle now and again.

so now that i know my low energy level is actually a good trait, i shall go back to more slacking and resting coz i really want to fully experience and appreciate my feelings of optimism.

goodbye.