Beyond the facade

I think the floor theme should be 'Confession of an overage teenager.'

Goes well with the 'got depth' framework with mirrors, lift button strictly 'not for grownups', the kid's party streamers and lots of cutesy shimmering hearts hung on ceiling and a half constructed supposedly cozy corner.

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The oh-so-lame things that i thought were beyond my imagination, at least until yesterday.
Seems like even as we mature in age, our inner selves may well remain childlike forever.
The excuses we made up ever so often to get about our daily lives makes me wonder how long more we are going to deceive ourselves and to what extent just to feel better, for you, me and the world at large.

I've been trying not to get emotionally affected by a certain behavior, especially disappearing acts. It makes me wonder (again) why the more technology advances, the more faults and problems we seem to find and/or identify with. and the contradiction here is that most of the issues have to be solved, somehow or another, via another major technological breakthrough. and let's just say i'm so looking forward to teleportation, time freezing and precise biometric tracking system linked to GPS.

Three weeks into school and it feels like i'm halfway through the semester. I've begin to think of room as home and the act of walking back to hall as a routine act like taking a bus trip back to HG. Growing accustomed to the convenience, and the feeling of being independent. Minimal communication with my siblings means lesser frictions, especially when they're at what Erikson termed as 'identity vs identity confusion' stage.

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Opportunities aplenty. Abundant room for growth and a million reasons to take (more) risks.
The initial appeal usually intensifies then die away completely, like echo in the mountains.
Now i find myself equipped with everything but the right mood to take up MORE responsibilities and commitment for stuff that i know i wont be able to handle with my personality and lousy time management, especially on top of the pile of schoolwork that is increasing at an accelerating speed.

digression:
I like my room. I think it is how i'd like my room to be. A little messy yet in order. Things in their right places and inventory minimised yet the entire supply chain optimised, keeping total costs low. I like the way the sun streamed through my blinds in the morning in the exact angle that i left the night before so that i can wake up with the sun shining brightly in my face, welcoming me to a whole new day. I like just how the PSA lights glow in the distance at night with the street lamps lined up solitary in the streets and me being able to see through my snowflake glasses if i want to empty my mind. I am grateful for the fact that the condo next door isnt ready yet so i can leave my blinds undrawn the entire day without having the feeling that someone opposite is peeping. I like it that i can see greenery from where i am sitting instead of the windows of yet another room. I like the fact that i'm living at the highest floor possible for females and that the floor above me is the rooftop. I consider myself lucky that i am NOT placed is a strategic location where the afternoon sun shines in and make my room a sauna.

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Learn as we go along.. thinking that you've found the center of the onion only to realise that what lies beneath the layer of skin is yet another skin and you can go on and on thinking that you're just one step away from the truth only to find more layers to be uncovered.. and tearing as you go along..

Beyond the facade, may well be another.