Somehow keeping this blog seems like a torture recently.
I no longer find joy in sharing what I think, regardless of whether the stuff makes sense or not.
I find myself staring at the create post page blankly for goodness know how long till I know I've sat out the intense moments. then I'll type in some lame words or another that means little.

I missed those reflective moments where my thoughts go in a million directions and I spent some quality time alone communicating with myself and find out what I need and want in a particular period. I am happy when I managed to understand and love myself better every time I go through the routine memory un-cluttering process. and continue learning from myself when i look back and see it in words how i felt and reacted when i was younger, all my fears, confusion and immaturity.

Just ignore me. Some days things just hit from nowhere. Then one looks back and only realised that you've made a loop and is about at the ending point. and what's scary is not completing the race, but knowing that the ending point is right where the next starting point will be. damn!
and performance in one lap isnt going to help you win the race.