that was the first time that thought crosses my mind.. used to think that he lives life pretty much the way he wants to. without a care. i sort of brought up the topic of his younger-than-one-year-nephew. am aware that they grew up like brothers but he passed away quite recently.. i cant really imagine having a niece that is one year younger than myself and die earlier than me. stupid me asked him whether he'll think of him and his reply made me so gloomy. he denied and told me not to talk about such stuff coz they'll cause sleepless nights.. saw the look of disappointment when i told him i wont be seeing him tomorrow.. the loneliness.. i guess it's too much to bear.. then i ask myself. how would i turn out if he doesnt play a part in my life..

who and how are you now if we are perfect strangers? will u still be who you are today?

Alicia Keys: If I Ain't Got You

Some people live for the fortune

Some people live just for the fame

Some people live for the power

Some people live just to play the game

Some people think that the physical things

Define what's within

I've been there before

But that life's a bore

So full of the superficial

... ... ...

in a world on a silver platter

And wondering what it means

No one to share, no one who truly cares for me