Bogged down by some stuff that will be insignificant in a year's time, or maybe shorter.

It doesnt make me happy knowing that i am the bottom one third of the module cohort, or rather:

i am pretty upset knowing that i am at the bottom of the pyramid with the other 35% despite assuming that i knew the solutions to half the questions.

yeah. knew the answers. like real.

And there's just this psychological effect that is present when you're being placed alongside many others of the same AND it's pretty obvious that you're clearly not one of the best (in actual fact far from it). I claimed that grades dont really affect me. REALLY. they DONT REALLY affect me but that doesnt mean that the probability is zilch. at least let me be with the majority. I guess with my 30% coursework grade screwed, my end year couldnt be very much better.

No wonder the big-hooha regarding the PSLE mathematics paper that parents have been complaining/commenting for everyday of the past week. I think i can sort of understand why those kids will cope themselves up in their rooms, cry, or get emotionally agitated etc.. just because they got a crappy tough paper. When you know that usually u're pretty good, ur ego and confidence brings you to a point where you know that you want to and can stay somewhere above mid-range. Then someone gave a shove and suddenly you find that all you can see is the dirt on the floor. and that it takes that little effort to break you. That's when you start having doubts of your ability, your confidence and later almost everything else. the negatives thoughts start invading your mind and before you know it, they are unstoppable. then they take over every inch of your mind and start eating into your ego and id.

Okay. i am exaggerating. But that still doesnt take away my discontentment. annoyed at my immaturity,especially with that irritating voice gnawing at my thoughts and a voice in my head nagging of the ought-tos i need to be responsible for now. those bugging stuffs that are on vacation from somewhere else.

My friends were saying how the educational system has evolved since our time (like i'm some obasan). They cant use RED pen coz the colour has some negative psychological impact on children's growth. They cant cross, circle and write BIG FAT ZEROS like our teachers used to coz those too, affect the learning and growth processes and what not. I mean, if i receive a work graded in BLUE pen and no crosses, just nice neat underlines on those wrong stuffs, then i'll ASSUME that it isnt too bad in the first place, since i dont see any crosses and circles. If those things doesnt signify the degree of mistake i made and should amend, i dunno what else does.