Freedom is just another word for people to find out you're useless

I love Dilbert and his work-life comics.. they remind me that i'm sane.

Dad came to fetch me from hall... He looks every bit like the sole breadwinner of the family. Sole breadwinner of a family of 6, with 4 children still schooling and requiring yusof ishaks, loads.
Seeing him like that made me realize i have no valid reason to be tired and sleepy. i am not entitled to even FEEL tired. comparing my workload to his is liken to making mountain out of molehill. and the older i get, the more i think it's time for me to have my fair share of the Vitamin M weight.. Mom has been complaining of aches and such again.. There's this unspeakable pain that forces me to sit up and think, that maybe it's not so much that i'm grown up now. It's more of my parents getting older as i am growing up. and there will come a time when i need to and must be dependable enough (i really hope so)..

One more year. Just one more year.. One more year till i am ready to charge head on to the rat race and ensure that there's more than enough money to go around at home..

and this is the kind of period i dislike. Of the 'i-wish-i-were' and 'how-good-it'd-be-ifs' about being born rich, or as an only child. which i think are evil thoughts. How can I overlooked how fortunate i am when i just reinforced that thought in a matter of hours?

seems like i really need someone dependable to reassure, reinforce and remind me when my brain seems to be led by my emotions, and not-so-positive ones as such..