As far as I am concern, that is not the limit. There's always another line at the end of this one.
Knowing that I am not as indifferent as I though I am when my body sends signals to the hypothalamus that at the rate I am going and enduring, getting high blood pressure is simply a matter of time.
Yep. As if I don't know. Looking forward to the days of joining the shake-leg-coy. and knowing that being a homemaker doesnt make you a party member of the company..
September 25, 2009
September 23, 2009
It's sad
Thinking about random stuff today.
The thought occurred to me out of nowhere that it's sad how life turns out.
The way we all strive to live to be better off in anyway, but essentially, we try to get an education that occupies most of our time when we're young because we're not physically fit enough to contribute to society, then we grow older and start to work so we can put bread on the table in order not to fulfill the basic needs of survival, then as we get older we look for stuff to divert our energies beside work, like starting a family and owning material possessions. and in return we have to be slave to time and money. then we start a family so that life would seem natural and complete, and we spend the rest of our lives ensuring the survival of the next generation and that in the circle of life, everything goes on, with or without you.
and the funniest part of it all, is that life goes on with or without you. yes, sadly.
The thought occurred to me out of nowhere that it's sad how life turns out.
The way we all strive to live to be better off in anyway, but essentially, we try to get an education that occupies most of our time when we're young because we're not physically fit enough to contribute to society, then we grow older and start to work so we can put bread on the table in order not to fulfill the basic needs of survival, then as we get older we look for stuff to divert our energies beside work, like starting a family and owning material possessions. and in return we have to be slave to time and money. then we start a family so that life would seem natural and complete, and we spend the rest of our lives ensuring the survival of the next generation and that in the circle of life, everything goes on, with or without you.
and the funniest part of it all, is that life goes on with or without you. yes, sadly.
I don't remember the last time I was this heavy.
For all I know, 45 is the normal weight, but am hovering much lesser than that as of now.
My initial plan of donating blood 4 times a year seems to diminish as my body adjust to the nutritional balance of my food intake and state of mind.
and i wonder just how much more to go before I should see a doctor.
some days I stepped into the washroom only to realise that I don't recognise the face I see in the mirror.
and yes, that scares me to death.
so i return to those things that make me happy. yes, the sources of happiness.
For all I know, 45 is the normal weight, but am hovering much lesser than that as of now.
My initial plan of donating blood 4 times a year seems to diminish as my body adjust to the nutritional balance of my food intake and state of mind.
and i wonder just how much more to go before I should see a doctor.
some days I stepped into the washroom only to realise that I don't recognise the face I see in the mirror.
and yes, that scares me to death.
so i return to those things that make me happy. yes, the sources of happiness.
September 17, 2009
don't know why. like back to the tone of the old blog.
Like still in that state of mind.
Like ageing but not maturing.
Just growing older but not wiser.
Like everything else that is unexplainable.
Like knowing it takes just 21 days to form a habit, and that trying to believe that things will be as expected after a month. but forgetting that it takes just 7 days to forget a habit as well.
Like still in that state of mind.
Like ageing but not maturing.
Just growing older but not wiser.
Like everything else that is unexplainable.
Like knowing it takes just 21 days to form a habit, and that trying to believe that things will be as expected after a month. but forgetting that it takes just 7 days to forget a habit as well.
Getting out of the matrix
Seems like everyone I know got something to say about their work life once they got out of the matrix into the circle of damned.
yep. out to the real world.
yep. out to the real world.
September 15, 2009
Something to look forward to?
Need those stuffs to keep me motivated.
Last time there used to be deadlines that I know I'll meet, signifying the end of a period and the start of a new one.
Like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Somehow this time round it seems like everything is clouded and haze is all over those stuffs.
Like the ticket to freedom costs much more than the pot of gold credited into an invisible source of moolah accumulation at the end of the month.
I thought I'll come to forget the feeling of being so tired, since the 17 odd hours i put in every other day in Tok. but life always find someway or another to make a joke out of you.
So here I am, zombie-like and trying to please myself more than anything in the world.
and looking for stuff to keep me sane. things that bring me away from the feeling of being suffocated.
Like searching for the feeling of going away like last year. Like having no responsibility and smiling like all the thousands of photos in the hard disk.
Like the need to go away after a period of work. Like planning for a trip that makes it possible for one to look forward to and count down to happy days.
Like feeling so lucky after work being doted on and cared for.
Like thanks. Thank You.
Last time there used to be deadlines that I know I'll meet, signifying the end of a period and the start of a new one.
Like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
Somehow this time round it seems like everything is clouded and haze is all over those stuffs.
Like the ticket to freedom costs much more than the pot of gold credited into an invisible source of moolah accumulation at the end of the month.
I thought I'll come to forget the feeling of being so tired, since the 17 odd hours i put in every other day in Tok. but life always find someway or another to make a joke out of you.
So here I am, zombie-like and trying to please myself more than anything in the world.
and looking for stuff to keep me sane. things that bring me away from the feeling of being suffocated.
Like searching for the feeling of going away like last year. Like having no responsibility and smiling like all the thousands of photos in the hard disk.
Like the need to go away after a period of work. Like planning for a trip that makes it possible for one to look forward to and count down to happy days.
Like feeling so lucky after work being doted on and cared for.
Like thanks. Thank You.
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