Dear JC will be forgoing a once in 2 years gathering just so that she can go out with you-know-who.

SIGHZ.. as usual. so the very apathetic PJ told her to join his friends instead. Since her mind will always be with him. Must as well let her be. and frankly speaking, i think i will have a better time in the absence of strangers whom i can't communicate with.. watever~ save me from reliving the HP/CJ scenes again.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Christmas is barely over and i find myself fretting over INsignificant stuff like a thousand bucks in time for the new semester. Like maybe CNY can come just a little sooner in the coming year. and maybe i can make a trip down to cash converters and see just how much $$ i can get out of junk.. all the hard work, for an experience. It better be worth it.

Never mind the money. I'll find a way somehow. Maybe send in a resume for the part-time position of a security guard at one of the condos near my place. Since my sleeping patterns are kinda hay-wired recently. Might as well make the most out of it. wahaha.. or maybe deliver the morning papers. Good option since i can exercise at the same time.. or maybe mid-night factory worker for the new year hampers. Heard they give out bonuses. LOLX.

All these useless thoughts by a person desperately in need of yusof ishaks. amazed by the human brain.

Count my blessings. Compared to the semester break last December, i have had a great number of things to be happy about.
1) the HK trip
2) exams ended early- extended holiday
3) work 4 times as hard with $$ as the side effect
4) 2 new work places, new colleagues..
5) Great news to end the year
6) motivation for a fresh start

and out of my 7 wants that i posted a couple of months back, i achieved 5 of them.
one is not within my control and the other overlaps with another.
So simply put, i've gotten whatever i hope for. so back to the issue of the root of all evil, i shall take one step at a time. That's how the journey of a thousand miles begins, with a single step.

Accumulation of the should-be-forsaken once again..

Talk about coincidences..

... ... ... ... ...

Planning to take a gigantic step forth in the coming year.
Outperform myself.
Surprise the people around me.
Make a difference.

Despite the reluctance in the endless ongoing work-related issues that I'd very much rather not focus on, they somehow always manage to haunt me. wherever, whenever.

Some unexpected events happened today. Was being moved like pawns in a chess set. I'm not particularly unhappy about it as it brought about a pleasant surprise.
My partner offered the opportunity to sit in and be enveloped by music conjured by an orchestra made up of young performers. There's always a difference between listening to a good CD and being in an acoustically excellent venue with the notes seemingly dancing around you. I've always like the song Amazing Grace but today's performance was special. It's as near to witnessing a performance by the choir of cherubims and seraphims.

I cant read notes and dont play any instruments. but i believe i can appreciate music when i listen with my heart and soul. any music. and being at the correct place puts me at an advantage.
I got great colleagues working alongside me today. People who'll take the initiative and trouble to send up a controller just because my end was shorthanded, even though the timing was critical. Seniors being courteous and helpful in all ways. People helping out in all possible areas to make work enjoyable despite the hiccups..

It's December and my favourite season is here. I hope my growth is for the better this year. Suppress selfishness and arrogance. I don't think the reason why i'm here is to sell seafood and face pple with nostrils..

results out tomorrow morning.
Feels safer in the dark but the darker it is, the sooner light will come.
May the day be great.

Watched I Am Legend today and was burning in the cinema despite the cold temperature..
Guess the flu bug has taken a liking to me this season..

I think there are still ways beside tripping. Doesn't matter. One step at a time. I have 5 more months till Alaska. Then, maybe someone can tell me what i want to hear. Some positive happy stuff for the new year, and enough to last for 12 months.

This time of the year when i have the urge to keep thinking of more wants to beef up the new year mood. It's like if i have more desires, then maybe the thoughts will get channeled and positive things will keep coming my way. The grades will be out tomorrow. Let's just pray things turn out well.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Merry Christmas pple!! I assumed the crowds hit town. Coz Clarke Quay was only as busy as it gets on a normal Friday/Saturday night.

Bought myself a belated bdae/christmas/new year gift. It's now on reserve. Will only be collecting it in Jan. Something i've been looking for. Something that caught my eye weeks ago. Something great to end AND start the new year.

6 more days to another good start. All the best peeps.

** i got into KR next semester! my third and last choice. lolx... to think i put that as a filler only without harboring any hope. Guess MOTHER luck is on my side this season.. muahahaha...

oh. and i miss QY's aunt's place.. Christmas is nothing without a get-together with great company and having an awesome time.. sighz

Trapped in a tornado thinking the world is as calm as it seems without knowing that it's hell out there.

Physically drained. Mentally un-stimulated this season.
Think the fairies and elves' supply of magic dust is running low this time round.

------------------------------------------------

Flour going through a sieve. Flour. Going through a sieve.
The big stubborn ones which refused to go with the flow get left behind.
Flowing along. Going with.
Those that went through gets to be sieved finer still.
Forced to flow along. Made to fit in.
Somehow that seems pathetic.

Random thoughts..

------------------------------------------------

Tonight a picture i saw in a book kept flashing across my mind.
The caption for that picture was sth like:
Even though there are many people present in the same venue as us, there is always someone who seems to belong to his/her own world.
**translation

Fitting in. More like accommodating to the norm.. Adjust to the exterior yet retaining your unique properties.. Like water changing shapes but not its compositions..

random.

Wasn't in the best of condition when i reported for work.
The sluggish, lethargic feeling that goes hand-in-hand with the weather.
Was supposed to meet Ad for dinner before work but couldnt make it due to some VERY last minute errands.. and i still couldn't believe just how many pple are swarming in an ulu mall like Raffles City. Makes walking around a chore. Seriously.. and I am still fathom by Singaporeans' buying behaviour.. You see some pple walking around SWEEPING stuffs into their baskets/trolleys/bags.. It's as if Santa is giving out freebies for xmas..

Work aint really worth mentioning save for some issues that i guess i have to somehow find a way to make public to save trouble.. Today's real cute act of hint-hint after all things end doesnt bring across a clear message to me. I like it when someone senior or more knowledgeable about a particular area tells me straight in MY face that maybe i should or can try to say/react in a programmed way to save time/trouble, just in case anything happens.. You tell me, i listen, i act accordingly.

If you don't speak to me in MY face, i would NEVER know what i did wrong, or which ways i can improve on and would simply keep doing what i did.. Like i say, hinting doesnt work on me. that's worse than one-way communication. Imagine i put in 100% effort everytime only to find that pple doesn't like the 100%.. Maybe they prefer only 70% effort and another 5% that is sth of their expectation.. If i'm unaware, I'll never do the 5 that others think i should do.. and my 30 would have gone to waste.

Seriously, i dont think i'll break down easily in front of others, nor do i have pride too much for me to handle.. Words dont really hurt me. Words of work anyway.. so others should tell me off if need be.. Work is an area i am proud to say i have the least control yet most optimistic attitude towards.. Like i always say, if i cant find the passion, work is just an avenue for money.

and I only need to convince myself. See, that's the challenge.

My colleague commented that she thinks i kind of come out from/ belongs in an anime, and that was supposed to be a compliment. She added that my voice seems to give pple reassurance. and it's AS IF i'm that mature, confident, independent/ da jie type of person that will jump out when needed and start to clear up the mess for others/take care of stuff..

i guess that's the funniest thing i heard in ages.. lolx..

I dunno if i am really THAT good.. but it sure feels good to hear nice stuff every now and then.. and one must always remember that beauty is only the icing, NOT the cake..

I engage in mindless chatter ever so often.. so i'm pretty much amazed there are pple out there who are able to sieve out stuff that makes sense from the things i said, and detect nice traits about me that i didnt know in the first place..

Thank you Santa. I'm receiving the joy and happiness that you've been spreading since Nov..

Don't take reservations. So no booking allowed. Just like NYNY. =P

Xmas party @ Terry's place. Of all i still like the bottom half of mousey, THAT i didnt even get extra for myself.

The Hazelnut log cake from Swensen's was scrumptious, and Ritz strudel completed the celebration, putting a great end to the night. The white xmas tree is pretty, real pretty.. Thanks to Eunice and Terry for organising, preparing the food, thinking of games, buying and wrapping prezzies.. oh.. and renting the DVDs.. The campbell inspired mushroom soup was Delicious. and i couldnt stop eating.. hafta get away frm the dining table to avoid putting on the kilos..

It's a pity i've work tomorrow, for i'd love those to be able to stay and hav MORE fun.. and i swear i could sit on the couch and stare at the pretty lights for ages with music in the background and finger food and drinks available throughout the night.. That, is indulgence during the xmas season.

This joyous season i'm waiting.. for magical moments.. for someone up there to put a perfect end to a good year so that i can start the next on a high.

countdown: 10 days to 2008.
Just 10 days to a new start. 10 days left to complete those unfinished business(es).. 10 days before you need to change the year to 08 instead of writing or typing 07. 10 days before i step into yet another year of school life that i know i better treasure before i regret till the end of time.. 4 more months to the examinations, 5 more months to Alaska. 8 more months before i start my year 3 education. 17 more months before i start hunting for a job, being socially responsible and financially independent. Dreading, dreading.. time aint always on my side.Even if it is, i've learnt to be a little pessimistic so that no matter how terrible things are, there wont be too much disappointment in store.. Or rather, i'm prepared for more things to come..

2007 is a good year. Let's just pray someone is playing Santa this season, spreading love and joy lots.. so 2008 will be a great year!

Hugs are free. Give more.

Yellow light(s)...
------------------------

The shock of knowing the news of Jas's new 17 yr old bf and seeing him. 4 years our junior. gosh~ and so what if he's now working with chef E that so many of my frens admire? Frankly speaking, it's beyond my imagination. Coz he's even younger than my bro AND sis, and smaller size than them..

I'm not against, or for it. But maybe coz my clique knows the Tempura Maki story, all the way from prom till Sakae till April's fool till now.. Like Ching, i feel that it's really not worth it. Really. All the years. Gone to waste.

This kinda situation would be better accepted if it happens like 5-8 years down. I dun understand how JC made the decision there and then. 3 times. ONLY. and even so, why Temp maki let her go? just like that.

Seriously, i know i am in no position to comment. Then again, i feel a little helpless seeing a friend i know since Primary 1 making decisions that I THINK is irrational and not being able to help, or rather not knowing what i can do or say to help. Seriously, i think nothing i say will get into her head.. That's the disadvantage of knowing someone for like 15 years of your life. You don't even want to try. Coz u know the outcome, and the energy can be out to better use instead.

whatever it is, time will tell.

-----------------------------------------
Met up with Huiz last night and as usual, we lost track of time chatting at the void deck.
Met char in the train today. Same cabin. Talk about coincidences. All the crazy things we did in school, the things that happened after that.. Being in different places, but having memories that belong to the same time and place. Knowing that sometimes an exchange of words is not needed. Silence IS a response/reaction.

There's this issue meeting old friends and new ones. There's no need to response if i dun want to or dun find a need to. I dont have to constantly think of some stuff to say or react.. can't enjoy keep my mouth shut without someone else asking things like 'are u alright' and 'u look very tired.' the lame answers that follow the redundant questions doesnt matter, seriously.

knowing personality traits make my life easier and difficult at the same time. Easier as i wont get upset over certain actions. Difficult coz i know that there's no point raising my blood pressure over something i know is the norm.

Requests. requests. requests.

~Let the HK pictures do the talking~

BubbleShare: Share photos - Cheap Hotels Vegas

Booked.

Booked.

All set to fly away on Monday.

Not fretting for the weeks to come. Worse come to worse i can join the shake-leg company pte ltd as a permanent employee till the next school term. The benefit of the organisation is such that there isnt any dress code, the hours are flexible, they allow me to take naps, and workload depends on the individual.

Booked.

Maybe i'll have more than one additional x'mas celebration this year. and ARGH the gifts.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Slots up for grabs. You see which slots are available and can fit into your schedule, and try to register yourself. Depending on the nature of the performance/activity, a person may enjoy as many as 24 slots per day but it is also possible to have a group of say 5 sharing 3 slots.

so far the max averages at abt 12.

Dun ask for the logic. there's no logic in this.

Beautiful day. Perfect weather.

A series of events happened lately.. which sadly, didnt seem to faze me..
Am just wondering just how much (more) time i am going to waste.. on all these stuff before i leap into the rat race..

And i seriously dunno just how much (more) indifferent i can get.. About everything.
Everything used to matter so much that even nothing matters. Now everything doesnt seem to matter so nothing matters at all. alright. and nothing seems to be the problem. yeah. nothing. and it's irritating that even when nothing matters, it still does. Maybe it's just me.

I think it's time for me to get away from all these clockwork stuff.. coz everywhere i turn, i see:
The good,
The bad, and
The ugly.

Situations with a million different possibilities being streamed into 3 simple categories. No matter how good or terrible i THINK certain things are, they're always not as good, or not as bad as i thought they will be.. and it's hard to breathe with the feeling of extremes closing in.. Like no matter where i turn, everything runs with that logic. So with that in mind, everyday is pretty much like all the others.. so how can i experience fluctuating emotions while holding that thought? No wonder the indifference. It's innate.

The routine-ness of the mundane happenings gets to me.. I need a place where i can experience liminality. and that's where i WILL BE soon. soon enough anyway.

Spent the entire time outside waiting and found that when the boredom becomes unbearable, singing along helps..

Someone recognizes me frm school.. so i made a new friend today. Made the right choice changing a new part time job.. at least i get to meet different pple..

Caught my eye. Right. memory never fails..

Work will be fantastic tomorrow.

The weather is perfect for some lazing around the house with a good book and a cup of coffee.

NOT for work.

Nothing that involves the use of the brain anyway.

Izzit worth new ink?

Waiting for the pen to dry up so i can start fresh with thoughts that are worth new ink.

We're barely a month away from the New Year. Looking back at the past 11 months, have you resolved all the resolutions you set at the start of the year? Or are you going to postpone them (yet again) and give them another buffer year?

I love December. The feeling of fresh start ahead. All happy things seems to be within reach.
Possibilities aplenty. Somethings are worth new ink. Others, don't even bother.

A week packed with work schedules so full that my holey pockets are finally regenerating.
One day at a time till next Monday. Tomorrow will be my walking day. The 3 hour tour in the morning followed by the art of spoiling my nails at work. Let's just say my optimism is nearing its peak this season.

Say cheers to a bright, windy and cloudy day tomorrow.
Let the weather be nice.
Let the weather be nice.
The weather better be nice.

Good things come in threes. Really they do.

Partnered some great peeps at work and managed to get through one of those dreaded moments. Easy-going peeps whom i think have the same mindset as me. Work is just work. An avenue for money. Let's just not make things dirty. Get through the hours together. You happy, i happy. Paycheck end of the month even happier.

Gina called. Seems like they are in need of some help.. and (they think) i can somehow lessen the impact thru introducing process standardization.. Different products, same equipment. It's almost like subordinating to work around bottlenecks.. and wanna guess what's in store for me?

It feels good to have them calling to ask me how's school and such.. It makes me feel like i'm at the top of their list if they are in dire straits. Not really indispensable. No one is. But i'm the number one backup. An exception. They'll (she will) work something out for me regarding the casual labour 'rule'. Love that place stashed away in a corner of the basement, unappreciated and forgotten by the entire management except colleagues of your own department.

Seems like the almighty Lee is still calling the shots there. Boo. That means that if i continue to see more of him, it'll be almost like a Dec crash course in baby-sitting.

That super flexible place. If i work there then i'll be able to coordinate my timing very well. That means MM for 8 hours followed by shows in the evenings. That means i'll be able to max out my hours AND energy this holiday. Something like 9-5 and 6.30-11. lolx.. Then Maybe twice or trice a week at that new place. Let's just see. One step at a time i guess.. =)

See. Good things come in threes.. E-P-M.

Seriously, kids nowadays are ... **Speechless** That guy must have been at most 16. 17 tops. And do i really look THAT young? gosh~ And why are there so many U-21s around me recently? ARGH. I don't need reminder. I know. I'm 18.

It makes a world of difference to me to have someone say 'Let's trash it out' if something really did happen instead of relying on time to 'heal all wounds and mend friendships.'
Especially sensitive issues regarding work. Gives me the reassurance that no matter what, our friendship comes first. The rest takes a backseat.

I never was, never am and never will be good with expressing myself. Therefore for a friend to make it clear that 'let's not get upset over trivial stuffs' is a great way for me to know that no matter what others say, the other party will definitely listen to what i have to say. not just hear.

-------------------------------

and i can't get those songs out of my mind.

TRULY SCRUMPTIOUS LYRICS:
Toot sweets sound like what they are
So do lollys in a lollypop jar
Gingerbread men have a gingerbread sound, we've found
Sugar plum cinnamon and lemon tart tell you what they are right from the
start
And your name does the same for you
By coincidence, Truly Scrumptious
You're truly truly scrumptious
Scrumptious as a cherry peach parfait
When your near us
It's so delicious
Honest Truly, you're the answer to our wishes
Truly Scrumptious
Though we may seem presumptuous
Never, never, ever go away
Our hearts beat so unruly
Because we love you truly
Honest Truly, we do
Truly scrumptious
You two are truly scrumptious
Scrumptious as the breeze across the bay
When you're smiling
It's so delicious
So beguiling
You're the answer to my wishes
Truly scrumptious
You two are truly scrumptious
And I shan't forget this lovely day
My heart beats so unruly
I also love you truly
Honest truly, I do

----------------------------------------------------------

HUSHABYE MOUNTAIN LYRICS:
A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain
Softly blows o'er lullaby bay.
It fills the sails of boats that are waiting--
Waiting to sail your worries away.
It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain
And your boat waits down by the key.
The winds of night so softly are sighing--
Soon they will fly your troubles to sea.
So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain.
Wave good-bye to cares of the day.
And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain
Sail far away from lullaby bay.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

DOLL ON A MUSIC BOX:
What do you see
You people gazing at me
You see a doll on a music box
That's wound by a key
How can you tell
I'm under a spell
I'm waiting for love's first kiss
You cannot see
How much I long to be free
Turning around on this music box
That's wound by a key
Yearning
Yearning
While
I'm turning around and around

It's the holidays.

No matter how things go, work is still work if i can't find a suitable place to channel my passion.

To happier things..
Ushered in the holidays and festive season with some good news.
I got my very first paycheck for this new part time work!
We'll be able to head down to pay the balance and get ready for the trip in a matter of days.
Arranged for a movie outing with a friend then I realised that my fav on-screen actor Josh is starring in 30 days of night. and the setting is in Alaska!
talk about coincidences..

Another typical day has passed. Just like that. I don't like any of the post-exams syndromes.
Doesn't feel like i just cleared my papers in a matter of hours.
Seems like i'm already halfway through the holidays.
The unanchored feeling. Exams give you a reason to work towards a common goal.
Like a dimming spotlight that fades into nothingness.
The emptiness after the papers, leaving the packing and clearing to the last possible moment. Just like fallen leaves rustling in the wind. directionless.

Exams make me feel good about myself.

I like having a goal to work towards.
A short-term goal that is within reach, regardless of the results.

A decision that you can make keeping in mind that there's no use running coz there's nowhere to escape to; and no use giving up thinking of the possibility to restart somewhere coz no one can really start anew. At least not for those who has one hand on the past.

Read this one-liner from an article:
The opposite of loneliness isn't company, it's return. A place to return.

See. We rely too much on the anchored feeling.

In half a day's time I'll officially complete my Year 2 Sem 1.

I think my insomnia during this period is a gift, minus the dozing during the actual papers. Serious. At least i have ample time to prepare.

A kind invigilator woke me up from dreamland in the middle of com med paper. Quietly, politely. So there's no moment of embarrassment. Yeah. As if that applies to me. Barely made it through half the MCQs.. Qn 34 or 36 if I'm not wrong.

The difference between the outstanding ones and me is the expectation of grades. Frankly speaking, I can't imagine having the need to S/U a module which i obtain B+ for. Hey. That's a cap of 4 for goodness sake. An additional B+ instead of the accumulation of those shld-be-forsaken others.

Slacker

Couldn't help but feel amazed.

I must be the slackest person i see for miles.

Have yet to memorize commed and SCM.

What am i proving?

That i stand by my belief that my worth and knowledge shldnt be reduced to the figures on a transcript?

Or that i AM still indifferent to those seemingly important stuff at this point in time.

Something is telling me that priorities lie somewhere out there.
Not on pieces of papers with blanks for model answers anyway.

Sickening insomnia

Let's just see if it's just one of the pre-exams syndromes.

Sickening insomnia.

My laptop is officially on strike. It allows me to log into msn but refuses to do anything from that point on.

My hand phone is PMSing.. It shuts off as and when it likes, especially after replying a couple of smses. Then before i could even be mad at the inefficiency, it performs as usual.

So here i am, behaving just like my belongings.. My brain is on strike-mental block. My body is procrastinating-sluggish and lethargic. They're not cooperating to make my study week a smooth one.

So i am better utilising my time blogging than staring at the SAME lecture notes for hours, with constant half-hearted attempts to will myself to stay awake and FOCUS.

After this i plan to put my precious weekend to better use like having supper to please myself so that my body can be contented enough to start its engine instead of always being in standby mode.

Random thoughts on lyrics

Everywhere i turn, i see-
The strangers whose faces I know.

---

This happens when you'd rather remain indecisive-
Someone choose who's left and who's leaving.

---

Trapped on the road to eternity, thinking just how long everything lasts-
All this time lingers, undefined.

---

Change. Change is the only constant.
So all i wish is for everything to remain as they are, only better-

New words for old desires.

-----------------------------------------------------

Randomness aplenty.
Maybe it's time to set the archives back in my old blog.
More random stuff anyway.

The older we get, the more we learn to let go, or the more we should learn to hold on?

Like Tina's new blogskin. The header is:

Some of us think holding on makes us strong;
but sometimes it is letting go.

Have that in many of my entries. Holding on or letting go.
Haven't i mention that letting go has been one of my major weaknesses?
and recently I've been thinking if both are actually on the same side of the scales.

This study week marks yet another of the end of the semester period. Another phase in life i know I'll soon bid farewell to. Another left-to-fret-in-future problem regarding the semi-annual tuition loan.

Seems like besides enjoyment, studying is just one payment after another. Despite the fact that i am optimistic about the future, i still find that piece of paper rather worthless. At the end of it all, i might be pretty much the same as what i was. If it's not for the fortune of being born in a superficial society, i guess there will not be a need to do what i am doing and striving for.

My youngest sis will be getting her PSLE results tomorrow. Seriously, i kinda pity her. 10 years down the road she'll be where i am if everything goes smoothly and things will be vastly different compared to what i am experiencing while i will get my butt out of the warming track in a matter of months and head on into the rat race.

and i wonder just how long more it will be before i stop looking at life in the perspective of a gamer, in particular in the sense of a person playing Sims.

The other day i dreamt that i somehow know i am going to die with a friend behind the wheels on an upwards winding road. Then i refused to allow my thoughts to flow just the way it wanted to and forced the automobile to swerve. I managed to get out of the car alive. but wondered if that's the right thing to do.

If dreams are simulations for life's situations, i guess mine will never be an interesting and challenging one. After all, that's what the reset/restart button is for. To get the sense of accomplishment after conquering something, with the criteria of easy defeats before the victory is won.

I know I'm insane, coz i make no sense. But somehow it doesn't seem to matter in this place where logic doesn't count for anything. Maybe it's the pre-exam syndrome. Those times where energy is diverted to nonsensical issues instead of focusing on studies. Skilled procrastinator. we all are but the difference between you and me is that i practise on the ordinary stuff, A LOT.

*puke

That's so very rude.

----------------------

Anyway, watched Saw IV and there's nothing much besides the usual gore. The cut bodies/ skull/ organs up. Rip hair off head, hack each other for survival. Mechanism smashing up head, piercing eyes and to torture oneself in order to seek redemption. seriously i have had enough of all those rubbish that it makes Saw IV the same as watching the makings of Saw I, II and III. When can they come up with some brilliant thriller/horror flicks that can somewhat chill my bones instead of just making me feel uneasy??

Met my slacking khaki from PP and turned to find some other familiar half frowning. -_-"'
Rmbr our fav tea break at 10 in the cafeteria.
Chatting at the foyer instead of standing near the driveway.
Being mistaken for being twins and having pple mixed up our names.
Having guests who think i am part of the group crew instead of a staff.
Watching the Christmas lightings on the streets and numerous London cabs passing by.

I certainly hope i changed for the better. If i did change in the first place.

Motivation eaten by the lazy bug.

Energy dampened by the rainy season.

So what can i do when i am irritated at myself?

Laugh?

Over and over

Over and over by Nana Mouskouri

Originally a Russian Yiddish folksong titled Tum Balalaika. Chanced upon it at some event and fell in love with its catchy tune and Yiddish language. Found that there's an English version titled over and over.

----------------------------------------------------
Tum Balalaika lyrics direct translation:

A young lad stands and thinks
Thinks and thinks the whole night
Whom to take and not to embarrass [the others]?
Whom to take and not to embarrass?

Tumbala, Tumbala, Tumbalalaika
Tumbala, Tumbala, Tumbalalaika
Tumbalalaika, strum balalaika
Tumbalalaika, may we be happy

Girl, girl, let me ask you
What can grow, grow without rain
What can burn and never end
What can yearn, cry without tears

Foolish lad, why do you have to ask?
A stone can grow, grow without rain
Love can burn endlessly
A heart can yearn, cry without tears

What is taller than a house?
What is swifter than a mouse?
What is deeper than a well?
And what is bitter, more bitter than gall?

A chimney is taller than a house
A cat is swifter than a mouse
The Torah is deeper than a well
Death is bitter, more bitter than gall

post-sem syndrome

fatigue sets in overnight.

Seems like everything gave way after the prolong tensed-slacking session during the term.

Maybe.

So apologies for appearing bored/indifferent/tired. Can't help it.

Inspired by 'we are the young'

Can't seem to find this particular song by Mary Donnelly titled "we are the young."
Strange that it is listed BUT no available lyrics.. and it happened to be some batch song of RI. Anyone knows anyone else from Raffles? Lolx...

This happy song meant to be sang by children.
of better tomorrows,
more love- teach the young how to care and share,
simplicity and
hope.

Happened to be at an acoustically excellent venue when that song was sang by a choir of children.
More than a hundred of them, belting out wonders of faith and hope for better days..

It's amazing when this group of strangers paints such an optimistic picture of the future and beckons me to follow.. Giving me the assurance that everything good is just ahead, if i dare to step into the light. okay. THAT is a little off. but sometimes things happened when you're not exactly in the best of mood, and just as you subconsciously want to succumb to pressure or temptation.. someone up there drops a gigantic neon sign. as if he's directing you to look that way. guides you back on track and gives you vitamins boosts..

Can never fathom religion. Buddhist family but attended catholic school for half my lifetime. I pray to whoever is around just as i hold joss sticks and go to temples.. I'm not a freethinker coz i'm not a non-believer in religion.. so I guess what i believe in is belief itself??
a belief that no matter what, any good and kind being with higher power will want the good for mankind. It doesnt matter which side the scale is tipped but as we advance and embrace cosmopolitanism, my belief should be the norm.

yes. do what i like given that my actions will not change or affect anyone else

Do what i think is right. that should be more than enough.

Old blogskin, new colors, new font.
Not a speak of purple anywhere this time round.
And green is good for the eyes.

Comfortable with lots and lots of spaces and everything available at a glance.
Makes everything appears tidy and in order.

Illusion of control.

Met Hammy online. She's in Switzerland AND it's snowing over there..
I can almost imagine snow falling outside my windows (ya right. at a temperature of 27 degree C).

It's amazing how msn brings pple from different places together and that's why Thomas Friedman's bestseller is titled THE WORLD IS FLAT.

Met up with my 4A clique ytd for a super belated bdae celebration.
If you're reading this: THANKS GIRLS..

We went for tea-break at Sakae.. It was hard to imagine we were LIKE THEM 4 years back.. Chawanmushi with chilli oil, sweet sauce and mayo is still the best combi to date..

Headed to the restaurant serving fusion cuisine that Ching recommended. With a seating capacity of about 25 (super cosy) and a rather reasonable pricing, i wonder how they can make a profit.. Superb ambiance, friendly attentive service staff, great decor.. oh.. and the food! portion just right (might be a little small for guys though), tealight candle holder damn cute (shaped like a saucepan!).. and the most special thing i find about the restaurant is not the fusion cuisine, not the jap staff, not the ulu location, BUT THE BILL. the bill comes shaped like a hotel room key with tag. like OMG can.. (refer to picture)

I like that concept. and i dont think they can pull off that 'insane' idea without the cosy setting and decor to match.. unlike some bright restaurants with colors that are practically hinting for you to get ur butts moving once u finish ur food. and the fact that they have limited capacity makes you feel that they value each and every customer that comes thru their door.. and i realised their wait staff are well-trained. Their body language says it all. Even the smallest thing like clearing plates. From my seat, i noticed: extend left hand, reach out to clear plate of the innermost diner. extend right hand to support/guide the left hand. It's the small little things that matters.. they make an insignificant thing like clearing plates (for goodness sake) looks professional. Like you're actually dining in some posh place and the station staff is in black and white with coat. I guess their service won me over just by the body language.. laughs..

Guess it's a habit.. of most service staff to observe and compare.. and i've seen excellent staff in quick service restaurants as well.. so it's not that all good ones are in places where that 10% is mandatory.

Once again infected with the disease of the after-effects of the don't-give-a-damn syndrome.

Maybe.

It's nearing my favorite time of the year and as usual, the over-sensitive paranoid crazy extremist is back.. It's hard to have an attitude when it takes almost everything to be in control.

Procrastinating, procrastinating, procrastinating.
Looks like Charlotte aint going to visit this place for quite some time.

All the to-dos that i have yet to embark on together with all the have-tos locked in the closet while all the want-tos given free reign.

Seriously, there ain't any extra ounce of energy for people-pleasing.. Not worth the diverted effort anyway. Not this time round.

You can do better than that.
You can do better than that.
You can do better than that.

I think i can do better than that.
I can do better than that.
At least i think i do because you think i can.

--------------------------------------------

That particular day when i wasnt in the best of mood, i caught a waft of my favourite fragrance that sadly, ain't in production anymore. Couldn't track and identify the source of the scent but went home with this strange contentment, like i just met my long lost friend..

They descended to Earth disguised as human beings i guess, hidden amongst familiar surroundings and bringing comfort to everyday mundane life.

Forcefully stopped the scales from swaying.
It's high time i do so anyway.
Been walking along it for as long as i can remember..
and this time round, I've decided to put my stakes on opportunity instead of focusing on opportunity costs.

Finally saw my cousin's baby! *laughs

Cute cute sweet and nice-smelling little boy~! like omg~ the last time i carried a baby was 12 years ago, my youngest sis. *laugh

amazing.. years ago my cousin and i were learning how to play dai dee in the middle of the night at her house and she slipping out at night to party.. now she's a MOTHER. like WTH. It's amazing how time flies.. how we managed to grow up in the blink of an eye. or maybe two.

This baby is special. very very special. Initially his birthday was estimated to be on the same day as my 21st bdae. then the doc said that 1st child is usually born a couple of days earlier. seems like they all couldnt wait to come and see for themselves how wonderful and beautiful the world is.. Still, his bdae is so close to mine i couldnt help but feel exceptionally happy, as if we really are born on the same day. Like a perfect 21st bdae present.

Cant wait to see him again. But right now, first things first. Need to get thru that dreaded presentation and report by this week, followed by 2 CAs and an oral exam plus work.

Btw, did i mention that CCBB is a draggy show? Too much fantasies makes me yawn.. But hell, i'll get another chance to relive that experience. Maybe being IN is different. *shrug
shall wait and see.

ultimate WOLS i'm speechless. *Sigh

maybe i was a caveman in my previous life. and seriously i dont think i'm the only one. some pple are just cave-er than me.

Every now and then, someone places a pair of invisible wings on my back so that i can soar.

Thank you.

People born under the sign of Libra are exceptionally indecisive.

Caught at the crossroad without knowing which way i should move, as if every single step i take will topple the scale.

Cost AND opportunity cost. i dislike that.

When stuff happens and u realize that all that matters actually boils down to one single thing- money, that's when i reconfirm my beliefs:

Money is the root of all evil.

Constantly reminding myself NOT TO succumb to the temptation of not giving thanks, taking stuff for granted, thinking the world owes me a living (AS IF). It was here first anyway.

Between knowing and wanting what to do, i'll opt for the more conservative approach. It's not as if i don't take risks. It's just that when i can see dark clouds looming ahead, why would i want to go charging into the storm unless i can be sure there aint lightning?

Enough of all the self-reminders.. if this goes on i can be sure i'm going to start talking in 3rd person.

To lighter stuffs..
Last practise session of the semester. A perfect ending. all within range.

If i can take away some of the laziness and inconsistencies in me, i believe archery will be an entire different thing to me.
Should i be more motivated, more discipline, more focused. who knows how different i'd regard this sport? How many times have i given myself prep talks, mental training but STILL fail to meet my own expectations? That is- IF i overcome all the above odds, which requires much determination and optimism and given that i started the para with IF and SHOULD, the answer is pretty much obvious.

and Passion is nothing unless coupled with discipline and discipline is nothing without commitment.

maybe i'll find the fuel in my next lifetime. Then- i'm sure to have 2 stones handy.

The battle is won.

Time for rest and recuperation.

Cheers, to a fantastic week.

Never like project compilation. doubt i'll change my mind anytime in the near future.

** process of vomiting blood**

Need to get down to what got to be done.

BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!

Poifull, the chick magnet.

This creation of Meiji has once again, generate wonders beyond imagination.

Resident Evil is nice. much nicer than Halloween.
The reward of the day: jalan-jalan and chanced upon a museum i've never heard of.

It's the Fuk Tak Chi museum, originally a temple.
For more info, click on the link.
http://infopedia.nlb.gov.sg/articles/SIP_232_2004-12-10.html

Traces of existence left behind in our lifetime, even after we're gone.

Upon seeing the newspaper article, my mom responded to the journalist's call. That jars were evidences of my Grandpa's passing in his time long before i was born. My Dad brings us to where he used to live, every time we happened to go by that particular area, atop a small hill tucked away near the very busy MS streets..










Some fuzzy stories of what was told, and forgotten, had i not read last night's papers. The OLD warehouse next to the hill is what i recalled.




From what i know, my Grandpa placed soil in the jars used to store preserved veg in the olden days, stacked them up to prevent soil erosion. They moved to Hougang during the golden years of the HDB projects, and left the jars untouched for years at the exact same location.

Years later, some organisation named API found the jars and guess what? to their HORROR, the jars looked like urns. or maybe not. yeah. as if anyone would want to place their ashes in the same container as preserved veg.

Was chit-chatting with friends over lunch a couple of weeks ago and one of them were saying that in actual fact, many intangible items like memories are imprinted on tangible items for eg. walls. With the passing of time, these things accumulate and has a personality of its own.

Back then, i thought : it's all bull.

fast forwarding to the present >>> After not being around for more than a year, there are still things he came across, stuffs he did and memories left behind. That, is a source of comfort. seemingly.

Thanks to 150+. Love the Crabtree & Evelyn stuff u all got me. The Chamomile tea was really unexpected, more so than i appeared to be. I vow not to be lazy and take good care of my skin with all the lotions and stuff i receive. =) Dinner at Spaggs was great. Shall dine there more often. the Bali cafe is real nice place for a drink or two at night, away from the crowd.

Accompanied my sis to the polyclinic in search of immediate help for eye infection. After the consultation, i checked with the doctor (yes, again!) regarding my nose. He told me that it's an allergy and there's no cure for that allergy as of yet. MAYBE i can try taking medicine. ya. like thanks for the info.

The WAT 2008 interview was okay.
ALASKA HERE I COME!
I extended my work time there so hopefully i'll get SEP in a uni which starts the sch term late (later than local uni at least).

Better than the expected from the totally unexpected. Went for some career fair today, and spent an hr walking aimlessly around the booths thinking of what to do if someday i "realize" my dreams aint mine to begin with. I look at a "particular organisation" and thought how good it will be if i can work with ships or oil rigs. From the model, i can imagine myself standing liken to a speck of dust near the lifeboats.

Just picture yourself awestruck at the environment u're working in, with curiosity aplenty about the entire business model the company is built upon, passionate about how an insignificant you can contribute to this mega deal and swelling with pride of being part of the organisation. I dunno much about the industry but i certainly want to experience all that with PSA in mind.

Lesson for the day: Halloween is a boring movie. Horrible. Waste my money. Boo

The big hoo-ha

I'm 21. Maybe i should start acting mature.

I received showers of blessings on the 18th. I mean, it's in a quantity liken to a thunderstorm instead. By this i am referring to the rain and wind.
Drenched, cold and wet. Like any other day in the monsoon season.

Fortunately, i love rainy days. Good mood, great weather, fantastic time.

Thanks to ODIN, i had a great time. and the drizzle came silently after the storm.
I had a wonderful happy dinner with lots of smiles and laughter. Appreciate the effort they put in for the sabo session and gifts. Frankly speaking, the card would have suffice. The best gifts are those that make people smile, remember?


-----------------------------------------------------

Top secrets to staying young:



































Ignore all 3 rules and just follow this one:















This card is perfect, really. ODIN internal joke.
They are simply the sweetest.
and they got me a Mizuno jacket, Godiva chocos and the ultimate- self made ODIN vouchers. laughs... and of course the memorable sabo session.

Joyce the random-qn-generator came up with the most bizarre ultimate crazy questions i would never imagine. So i ended up being blind-folded AND made to eat stuff like pepper, chilli padi, ginger, drinking soy sauce and what not, plus play with camo cream thinking it's mayo etc as punishment..

Some details that i missed out and will remember for quite some time:
Milo is under Nestle.
ODIN lettering order- J,S,A,G
Chalet number C & D
Camp dates 196-226
Joyce had wanton noodles for lunch on the day we break camp
JY ordered sugar cane juice WITH lemon
The 7 names of Bowman juniors- weejin, Diana, Suanggita, Diana, Vanessa, Christian, Wan jou
3 birth dates: YQ/pooh- 15 Nov, Terry- 14 Nov, JY 20 Jan.
The SR we got on the first day of O week for Bowman is SR13. laughs
23 pple in ODIN according to n(shirts)

plus some other super random things that we dont even find it a need to remember. I made some intelligent guesses, and totally screwed up the rest.

and they made me cut the cake using a pair of chopsticks!!!!!!!!!! like dots.. but i guess i must be having too much fun to be bothered. i posed WITH the chopsticks. laughs.. and thank goodness i was smart enuff to not wear makeup.

now i'm looking forward to yet another thing. The WAT 2008 interview later in the afternoon. **Pray silently**

***

***

***

***

***

***

***

May Lady Mother Luck shines on me tomorrow.

I'm counting down to my fourth 18th birthday in less than an hour's time.

This week has been exceptionally smooth sailing. The weather was superb. I booked tix to HK on sat, tues training went well, today's batik cls was great fun, fna tut finished within the hour, and the PSA talk was the highlight. Got to know some new pple, crap with some acquaintances (caught on candid camera. lolx), got lots of help and understanding from the team and enjoyed the bus journey home.


Things usually go uphill when i'm appreciative of what i have and give thanks for everything in the present. so that's like foreign aid from someone above. My backup in times of need. There's always a reason for you to be optimistic. Give thanks. and i don't think YOU need reminder.

After the scrimping and saving comes the spending.

Counting down to yet another trip. With those whom i know will have a great time together no matter where we are. never mind Nepal, New Guinea or Antigua.

Blessed with good health, a loving family and great friends. So maybe that explains why i don't see the need to have more wants, coz the act of asking for more signifies dissatisfaction or the lack of appreciation for the good. and the last thing i want to see happen is for someone up there to take away all that i have now.

Grateful for all the good, the bad and the ugly, plus a million of other things..
Thank you, for my fate of blood-ties. i can never imagine another family that i will be happier in.
Thank you, for the gift of friendships forged from young and hopefully thru adulthood. People whom i will still hope to meet in my next life, and all the other succeeding ones.
Thank you, for all the luck i have received, am receiving and will receive in the lifetime and a million ones thereafter, many which i believe would have changed me in unimaginable ways.
Thank you, for bestowing the ability to have beliefs and faith in so many things. They determine how i turned out to be.

Giving thanks, with a grateful heart.

Bogged down by some stuff that will be insignificant in a year's time, or maybe shorter.

It doesnt make me happy knowing that i am the bottom one third of the module cohort, or rather:

i am pretty upset knowing that i am at the bottom of the pyramid with the other 35% despite assuming that i knew the solutions to half the questions.

yeah. knew the answers. like real.

And there's just this psychological effect that is present when you're being placed alongside many others of the same AND it's pretty obvious that you're clearly not one of the best (in actual fact far from it). I claimed that grades dont really affect me. REALLY. they DONT REALLY affect me but that doesnt mean that the probability is zilch. at least let me be with the majority. I guess with my 30% coursework grade screwed, my end year couldnt be very much better.

No wonder the big-hooha regarding the PSLE mathematics paper that parents have been complaining/commenting for everyday of the past week. I think i can sort of understand why those kids will cope themselves up in their rooms, cry, or get emotionally agitated etc.. just because they got a crappy tough paper. When you know that usually u're pretty good, ur ego and confidence brings you to a point where you know that you want to and can stay somewhere above mid-range. Then someone gave a shove and suddenly you find that all you can see is the dirt on the floor. and that it takes that little effort to break you. That's when you start having doubts of your ability, your confidence and later almost everything else. the negatives thoughts start invading your mind and before you know it, they are unstoppable. then they take over every inch of your mind and start eating into your ego and id.

Okay. i am exaggerating. But that still doesnt take away my discontentment. annoyed at my immaturity,especially with that irritating voice gnawing at my thoughts and a voice in my head nagging of the ought-tos i need to be responsible for now. those bugging stuffs that are on vacation from somewhere else.

My friends were saying how the educational system has evolved since our time (like i'm some obasan). They cant use RED pen coz the colour has some negative psychological impact on children's growth. They cant cross, circle and write BIG FAT ZEROS like our teachers used to coz those too, affect the learning and growth processes and what not. I mean, if i receive a work graded in BLUE pen and no crosses, just nice neat underlines on those wrong stuffs, then i'll ASSUME that it isnt too bad in the first place, since i dont see any crosses and circles. If those things doesnt signify the degree of mistake i made and should amend, i dunno what else does.

Nothing much to look forward to. or rather no expectation.

in front of the invisible line that separates 20 and 21, knowing that there's noway i can hesitate but to step across.

I know there's a million other pple out there who has been kind enough to advise me to hold an extravagant party, minus the E part. For memory sake or what-so-ever i have no idea, but i think their view on this is that it's a milestone, an age-related one.

but since i guess i am as old as i think i am, it doesnt seem to matter, at least for now.

Maybe i'll look back and regret my decision(s) now, but one thing i am certain of- i believe my future self will be able to handle the post-effects, come what may.

The rainy season is here!

I swear my eyelids grew an additional cm recently.
Have been fighting to keep my eyes open for days on end. Takes twice the effort and yield less than a quarter of the desired effect.

Boo. I dislike fastest fingers first. I was THERE before time yet didnt manage to get even one pathetic slot. Boo. Got my hopes too high..

I need an outlet less the option of sleeping so i guess i'll be enjoying training tomorrow, after the CA nightmare.

It doesnt take much for me to realise i'm right in my decision to go for something of my interest instead of vying for better performance in you-know-that's-where-all-the-money-is.

Just 2 lectures into the module, i know i'm not cut out for it. Halfway into the semester, i find myself thinking i know some stuff yet am still as confused as ever over most. those negative vibes come strongest during tutorials, when MODEL answers are right in front of your face. No matter how i see it, there's always a huge gap between knowing what you should do and actually applying the right formula to obtain the correct solutions, and it doesnt console me that i have good know ledge about the former and a hate-hate relationship with the latter.

Sometimes i wonder why some tutors still treat us like kids.

I can't fathom the need to ask for details and reasons due to a one-time change for a class.

Maybe to them we're still stuck at age 15, unable to make good judgments.

Maybe we should highlight to them that we're no longer in high school.

Maybe i should just use 'personal issues' as an excuse.
Then again, i dont want to explain myself during the next meeting.

But doesnt it makes sense that i have something more important than a tutorial class so much so that i bother to email and inform instead of just pon-ing? Is there a need to go down to checking validity of reason just because i need to change a class. Seriously, tertiary education doesnt make much of a difference to pre-tertiary ed..

So i wonder when they're start respecting us and allow us the right to keep mum regarding stuff that we simply dont find a need to announce.

~Come away with me~

Come away with me.

Got to know a couple of acquaintances whom reinforced my wants.
This time round i am trying real hard to make it on my own, if you can see.
It's always good to have company but when time comes for the unavoidable to happen, i guess we too, can manage it alone. (Remember it is always enough to be taken care of by myself)

Seriously, dreams are pretty much redundant if you can already foresee what you will become in 10, or 20 years time, give or take a couple of scenarios. We will all graduate from youth, get stuck in the rat race of humanity till the society gives you a break (prolly 5 years before you close your eyes for the final time) while in the meantime holding on tightly to the illusions we conjure up of the prettier tomorrows. For some, they climb up the right ladder to success which guarantees them a one-way ticket to the pot of gold at the other end of the rainbow while others climb up other ladders all the same BUT end sliding down the snake's tail to the bottom and have to make do with whatever else.

Seriously, i dont want to live to 30 and start looking back and regretting what have i NOT done the things i wanted to do when i can. I want to step out to the working world in future knowing that i've tried my very best. I want to be able to share my experiences with others if possible, inspiring them to do what they want if it's within their means. A degree CAN BE a passport to a great career. But attitude takes you to the top. I don't want to recall my education as a series of mugging feat after another, attempting to break my previous semester GPA with more As and lesser Bs and Cs. I want to be able to reminisce about a million other things like Reaction, FOP activities, sports, recre stuff, competitions, carnivals, seminars, slacking in the library beside a bunch of people who were mugging, getting chided by the fierce and unfriendly lab tech, and mugging of course, beside many others like SEP, WAT,hall etc..

Humans do change you know. To an unimaginable extent. Maybe it's all inborn but a tap on the right nock sets you going. The world is as big as you think it is.

Happy 18th Birthday Gek!

Though i'm more fortunate in the sense that i got to celebrate my 18th bdae on board superstar Virgo with hundreds of others in the middle of nowhere, you get to do it at where i think is the place closest to heart- home..

That brought back memories of the day when i fully apprehend the meaning behind the phrase 'The Earth is round.' Missed the boundless sight in front of your very eyes that seemingly extends into infinity... Almost forgotten how it is to feel the kind of emotions that make me willing and contented to just die in the middle of nowhere. Missed the only place where no matter which direction i am facing, i can see the magical moments where heaven and sea joined ad infinitum.. It's the kinda setting you'll never get in Singapore. Then again, there's pretty much nothing much we get from Singapore less some million ongoing experiments and projects..

So:
Can i request for a trip to Barcelona, Spain for my 21st birthday?

To hell with rules and schedules. How i wish i could dump my planner!

Things aint really going to what i PLANNED. and i'm on the verge of pulling out my hair, burning up my notes- all on the first day of term break. Like thanks.

I have yet to start on SCM, presentation & work due 1st day after the break. Have yet to revise for BI, test on tues. GEK1507 discussion on tues and i barely have an idea what the whole module is about, lest the proj discussion. Fri will be a day of hell, as usual, with FNA presentation (ya, haven do i know). Sat is the mid-term exam! and guess what, i have alr started, AS IF. what a surprise.

okay. cheers to a good term week for slacker J. Shall go oil my gears to prepare for engine start.

TGIF.

Kalau anda bertanya apa kabar saya, saya akan membelas baik-baik saja.

Term break is finally here. But that doesn't signifies the need to call for a celebration karena saya harus pergi ke sekolas. sianz.

My friend was asking "anda besok akhir minggu ada acara apa?" and the first thing that ran through my mind was:

"Saya mau tidur.." then i added "sampai siang atau sore." Dia juga mau tidur. lolx..

Teman kuliah berkata "mau membuat PR." I almost fainted. No wonder Bu Indri was saying orangnya mahasiswa ada baik. ya betul. saya menggendangi dengan ibu. tetapi saya kurang baik. maaf, ada tidak baik.

Besok malam saya punya pesta ulang tahun di warung, di dekat taman dan rumah. haizz. ulang tahun saya tanggal delapan puluh Oktober. cepat-cepat. -_-

Aiyo. Sekarang jam empat kurang dua puluh - terlambat!! Saya pergi ke tidur sekarang. Sampai betemu orang!!

As far as i know, ball games are just not my type of sports. I don't see the point of serving to get the ball away from you, or trying hard to get the ball so as to get it away from you..

The heavenly acute neck strain you get the following day after shooting hoops or looking at the sky for too long makes me wonder how some can do it daily without complain and still doesn't look as if their necks are hinged.

Not to mention the possible backache and knee injuries you might get from constance bending to pick up balls or lunching to retrieve them.. Oh, and don't forget the risk of getting hit on the head, in the face, or any part of your body for that matter..

Despite my reservations on ball games (see above), i think i am beginning to like netball. The ballgame that seems so difficult to get a nice shot through and the game in which the courts are almost always empty.

Helping hands, touching lives is back!

HELPING HANDS, TOUCHING LIVES fund from Singtel is back!! The fourth year running?! and hopefully for ever..

Cut out the page from Today newspapers (from last week) to fold into hearts and drop the hearts off at any post boxes. Singtel will donate $1 for every heart collected. Thanks~

A happy addition to the hanger in my room. The medal with a lionhead in the middle is the evidence of ytd's netball sports carnival victory. like yeah!

PLAYER

Sports carnival in school today. I made an effort to go down earlier for gym before heading to the courts..

As usual, ODIN outperformed others in netball.. But YQ got injured.. i am terrified of old injuries, not that i have any.. but it's a fact that once u sprained/ hurt any joints, a second time is pretty much guaranteed.. and i dont think my tolerance level suffice for repeated injuries.. lolx..

Been ages since i last exercise... Makes the waking up early on a Saturday turmoil worthwhile..

Blind spots

We do not know certain things about ourselves because God wants us to truly be ourselves around others. That is why others know a part of us that we don't even know exist

Somebody must have moved that finish line

[Somebody must have moved that finish line]

I like this one liner. I like how it expresses exasperation and helplessness.

Mindful that even when you crossed the line, there is always another line somewhere else.

There is no way you'll know whether you reached it finally simply because there is no end to a line, unless you stop drawing...

"Please don't get offended. When i first saw you, i thought you are from Engine."

I swear i could have died laughing.

Omong-omong dengan teman.
i totally agree. I don't look like i'm from biz..

My bro was asking why i dress like i do for school and he too commented tat i look like i'm from Engine. Like what he said, 'business girls dress up for school.' and putting on makeup is 'normal.' So sorry to say, i belong to the minority.

'Not that it is bad. just different.' and i take that as a compliment.
So sorry for not having good dress sense and not taking the trouble to sacrifice sleep for beauty (no pun intended). lolx.

My favourite season is here. the RAINY season. Seriously, i enjoy the weather so much that i didnt sleep throughout the journey to school, just so i can feel the wind in my face and keep that uplifted mood on a high.

Sometimes, i myself think that i'm a little loony. Then again, the article on RealAge did advise us to focus on the little things in life that make you smile because focusing on your happiness will protect your emotional well-being and physical health. Like wow. lolx

DREAMER~

My current list of wants..
1) Master Bahasa Indonesia for simple communication
2) Get into hall next semester
3) Apply for SEP for senior year sem 1
4) Apply for work & travel in USA for the holiday before acad yr 08/09
5) Cambodia heartbeat or maybe Myanmar prog
6) Enjoy all my DSC modules
7) CCA

Let's just say it's always good to think far and dream a LITTLE..

Sliding... drifting, drifting..

Rainy season. Love YET hate it. I guess Christmas will come 3 months earlier this year coz of the increase number of Rudolphs around.. and i'm indifferent to the medicine. like what's new and what helps?

School has been far from perfect less my 3D timetable, but since when is anything ever close to that? Still in lala land waiting for someone to give me a wake up call while the others are already on their toes..

Someone hand me a log. i need two hard knocks and a float.

BUT besides that, the most crucial thing i require is a sign- a neon one.. Or maybe a shrinking glass instead to make me NOT notice the smaller pictures and start to FOCUS on the overall..

QY's bdae

QY's bdae celebration at New Park Hotel. Hope you like the prezzie.. This is the first bdae celebration that BL missed. The food was good and the ambiance great. Needless to say, the company was fantastic.

It's a pity i didnt take enough pics though.
and F4-1 means that we didnt do any SHE songs during the KTV session.. like haizz.

---------------------------------------------------------------
Didnt receive the email that i was waiting for. The confirmation email for waitlist accommodation. so there goes my chance of staying in hall this semester. =(
better luck next sem i guess.

ACM =(
QY's Bdae =)

Read this cute metaphor:
the 5 balls in life- work, family, health, friends and spirit.
Imagine juggling all 5 balls in the air.
You'll soon realise that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.
But the other 4 balls are made of glass. Once drop, they will never be the same again.
so this logic we must understand, and strive for balance in life.


no wonder.. work should always take a backseat in life.

Tian Yu Happy Birthday Odin was what was written on that piece of white chocolate. and the wait staff is really kuku to bring out the plates BEFORE we managed to surprise her with the cake. Like THANKS. A nice gathering nonetheless. oh.. and just picture elmo and lion together.

Haven been sleeping well lately. I wonder if it's my nose (again) or the fact that my bed is facing a half-bodied mirror (esp this month). Or maybe it's just the symptoms of school-related anxiety, which is literally zero as i AM enjoying school thoroughly. Have this on off headache, particularly in the late afternoon.. I think i need aspirin.. or maybe just lots of water and honey to prevent dehydration..

Am so keen to sign up for the Cambodia heartbeat and my enthusiasm level seems to hype up as the deadline draws nearer.. Maybe my holiday is meant for greater things.. stuff that i should do for the greater good of mankind. lolx.. and it is certainly heartening to feel good about doing good. doubles the joy..

and I think i'm missing something pretty big in my life.

No cure for nonexistent problem

The doc told me that it aint a problem, so there's no cure.

That means i'll just have to live with that nonexistent problem for the rest of my life, unless i manage to convince myself that it isnt even a problem in the first place. and how am i supposed to do so given that everyone who knows it thinks it IS a problem.

the funniest thing is that i was told to avoid dusty places. AND as if that needs reminder. like thanks.

I would really love to be more independent.

Let's just say practice makes perfect so I'll just have to start from the ordinary things to get lots of opportunities.

Was in semi-formal attire today. Formal wear is never the same again after going through HM training. Everything doesn't seem right that way.

Footwear- no open toes heels
Simple accessories- Ear studs, no dangling. Definitely no blings
Long sleeved shirt that is like .75 inches out of the blazer?
Striped shirt with solid color suit, never striped for both.
Shirt tucked nicely
Bun up hair
Make up
Professional looking suitcase
Proper posture
Manicured fingernails
A nice smile and lots of
Confidence.

I like it that they're applying what they learnt during etiquette classes. and was kinda shocked that they really did pace their eating speed with the rest of the group so that we can finish our food together. That's very considerate and sensitive, especially the guys and those fast eaters.. and before i forget, HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY SU KEE, the Odin lion!!

All we need is a leap of faith. Leave the rest to luck.

Had a long nice chat with my Dad about his job. Make that a first, and hopefully not the last. I enjoy listening to what he has to say about happenings in his life.. and glad that he is willing to share.. Seems like once your children has grown to an age old enough to include them in your all-so-mighty adult world, understanding what you're saying & feeling and able to provide feedback, then you're really near to reaching or overcoming mid-life crisis..

Maslow is right about putting that at the tip of his hierarchy. Once you get past a certain level, nice-sounding names dont really matter.

and being a parent is tough. being the sole breadwinner of a big family with all your children still schooling and the mortgage loan not fully repaid is even tougher.

so i want to tell my dad:
sometimes all we need is a leap of faith, and leave everything else to luck.

There's a hole in my sidewalk by Portia Nelson

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost, I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn't my fault.
It still takes along time to get out.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in.
It is a habit but my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

I walk down another street.

----------------------------------------------

I don't know what i want sometimes.
But i know that i want to know what i want.
I know that once i know what i want,
i will be able to get it.
Of course, i may not want what i get when i get it..
But at least i'll know i don't want that!
Then i can move on to something else i don't know if i want..

Ah.. THAT'S PROGRESS..

"Sometimes you just have to take the leap, and build your wings on the way down." -Kobi Yamada

School has officially started and i'm on a roll..

my senior (lolx.. finally a friend older than me in terms of age and educational level!) acknowledged my presence in my GEM lecture. like WOW.. usually pple try to ignore tut mates whom you aint very much acquainted with, especially after like one day of tutorial..

Had my fav New Zealand Ice-cream, which was enough to make my day, followed by some retail therapy.. or rather, shopping indulgence. i'd never have believed myself.. blew an entire week's allowance on some stuff that i guess i wont have much chance of using.. but i am happy.. lolx. so that makes all the difference..

I'm so looking forward to INDO class can.. but i know next to naught.. so let's just hope my 5 hours of tutorial each week helps.. before u know it, i'll be able to converse with my uncle's maid (yeah. like real)..

i'll be helping PL on that SDU thingy that the club came up with. so exciting.. and i'm tempted to go for the HK 3-D trekking trip (if only it isnt so ex.. over $1000 for 3 days!! and i'm broke now.. -_-"') and the Cambodia volunteer program (but we're planning a 2 weeks trip to China in Dec so too bad).. it's like when u have the right attitude and mind, everything just seems to start flowing.. i've never really taken note of stuff like these before.. now it just seems like 24 hours a day aint enough for me.. and that there are simply too many school activities to take part in, too many things to try before time runs out.. am now regretting not trying the CASE competition with Angela.. if not i'll alr be working on a proj before the assignments kick in..

yeah. and GREEN is my favourit-est color now.. lolx..

Phew~ sigh of relief..

I FINALLY cleared my poly CPF tuition loan..

Peeps, my bank acc is officially at rock bottom so please exclude me from luxurious makan fares and such till i find a way to tap into a flow of Yusof Ishak..

Dun ask me how i did it coz i am amazed at myself too.. lolx.. Didnt i say i am an old age Asian who is uncomfortable with debts?

gearing up for school.. I'm so looking forward to the various modules, given that i like half of what i am going to take.. i am confident, so totally unexpected, that i will do what it takes to ensure i have a great semester. but let's just hope my enthusiasm doesnt fluctuates..

I've encountered surprises aplenty this holiday. Just like what i prayed for during my examinations, i really did have a fulfilling and meaningful break. and it is by far the best to date. What would i lose if i cross my line? there's always another line somewhere. I've taken so many risks this time round and realised that it is not at all bad.. the one who risk nothing, has nothing and is nothing.

and i have a feeling the best has yet to come.. let's just hope i'm able to keep my optimism level high enough so that when it dips, i'm still at the average.. dont they use to say that you have to aim for the moon to land amongst the stars?

I think i really have myself to thank. i didnt realise anything more than what i already know. NO. but i was standing on the ledge and decided to leap.

Like thanks.

Art of rejecting flaggers

The annual Flag day was a success. at least to my OG. being in AMK from 0630 till 2100 aint an easy feat. and the fact that i thoroughly enjoyed myself made flag a really meaningful event. People donated generously. My max was 10 bucks and i had a good many $2, given the charity situation recently, i thought we did great.

I had a few good laughs about the way people reject or try to siam flaggers. I told this auntie "Notes are accepted and greatly appreciated" when she told me that "I dont have coins." she stared at me for quite sometime k.. and hasten off looking damn embarrassed. some nice people saw me at 8pm still flagging and donated additional coz according to them, i was hardworking.. Was chatting with some old friends, schoolmates and alumni, some of them graduated years back and some recently. Some fellow schoolmate was saying "see u ard" when i dont even know the faculty. some other was cracking jokes with me under the hot sun.. Another senior was telling me he has been looking out for Bizaders since morning and only managed to see ONE, which is me. lolx.. another came over and talked to me while waiting for his transport. everyone is excited about flag and confident that we're going to win this year (again). yeah. i'm confident of that too. given our enthu level. sure win.

------==================------------------======================------------

Went Marina Bay for NDP 2007 with Ching ytd..
THANKS FOR THE TIX GIRL! AND HELP ME SAY THANKS TO GX TOO!

NDP rox can. I missed singing to the national day songs loud and in high spirits.. I love to see a sea of red and everyone (almost) gathered at a common place and knowing practically all the songs be it chinese, english, malay or tamil. Love having the renamed Kallang-Marina wave. the goody bag, the fireworks, the effects and such.. i love the moment(s) where i feel that i belong, truly.

The 3D defence thingy felt like what someone planned to show to the rest how much s spent on the NECESSITIES and some great reasons for doing so.. I cant deny they werent of some top notch equip. and the air thingy saluting is kinda cool.. the thing tt looks much like a hovercraft got me quite interested but other better things caught my attention..

The over friendly uncles sitting beside Ching was a little too enthu.. and i received smses from friends asking if i went for the NDP @ Marinabay yesterday.. lolx..

--------================---------------=======================

Thanks to Winnie for inviting us over to ur place.. Guess we made a mess AND helluva noise.. I love her massage chair and garden swing, not to forget her Pooh bear filled belongings and room.. Citadels is fun IF i dun get killed or robbed so often. and i am absolutely jealous of her OPEL automobile can. I was gazing at the car at the MRT station while waiting for her to come fetch me and didnt notice that that car was hers. Like OMG lor.. So jealous.. Grr...

We stayed up the entire night playing games.. and they never fail to amaze me with their super ability of staying up the entire night one day after FLAG plus continuing games all the way till the following day's afternoon. like WOw.. i cant even deny that i'm old.. or convince myself to believe that i'm as young as them.. cant take all that late nights and alcohol and intellectual games in the middle of the night when ur brain is supposed to be at it's most lax stage..

I'm glad i took the initiative. Never look back since..

On to only 4 modules this semester. Only 4 modules and i bidded for Bahasa Indonesian!!!!!! i'm so looking forward to sprouting Indo can.. lolx.. so i can pass off as malay if need be.. wahaa