Decided to upload something here instead of the shared blog which we apply the rule a-picture-speaks-a-thousand-words kinda theory. the posts that i've accummulated in the past few weeks.
16 July, AK time. 12.15am
Couldn’t get to sleep tonight. I must have over-rested today (if there’s even such a word). Woke up exceptionally early today with the excuse that I want to eat breakfast so that the girls will wake me up no matter what (or at least try their best). The motive behind that was as simple as to make sure that I’m up and about by 8 to make a phone call. The internet was down yesterday and I was worried that I couldn’t get in touch via skype, msn or phone call (My US calling card has a 1 minute talktime!)
And boy, wasn’t the 2 of them surprised when I could drag myself out of bed after sleeping like 3 hours and still look awake and not complaining that it’s cold.
Happy Happy Birthday!
I KO-ed at 10, totally zonked out and not even remembering to drink swiss miss. Drifted in and out of sleep with Ditty and Jena talking outside. Was in a dazed when I FINALLY woke up at 4.15pm. the amazing thing is, I dozed off right after dinner while waiting for Jo to finish using the internet. Like thanks! How much of a pig I can be.
I’ve never looked forward to a full day of slacking as much as today. You have no idea how much just lazing around as taken a whole new meaning with the crazy workload we sort of innocently drag ourselves down with. I’ve no idea I am and can be that hardworking. To me, 10-12 hours shifts are manageable given that I have ample rest AND that the work is relatively easy. It never crossed my mind that spending 17-18 hours of my waking moment in a day for work is feasible at all, and manual work at that. That is, before I even know Tok exists.
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Work is beginning to take its toll, if it hasnt.
Making beds has scale new heights and will never be the same again.
Been thinking that all these while all I wanted was a change. Some out of the ordinary adventure that enables me to test my limits and see how far I can go, alone.
We’re more than halfway through this journey.
It’s an experience which I doubt I’ll forget and it’s something I don’t mind going through again in a different way when I’m older. When I can travel comfortably onboard the cruises and come to Tok as a stopover destination, enjoying all that it has to offer.
This season, I got all that I wanted. I got this. THIS.
Someone put me in a place so inaccessible and unheard of I reckon only a handful of people in Singapore knows about it.
Someone up there IS testing my limits, for real, for He has been pushing me to my limits regarding extreme weather conditions and cuisines.
I’m going through what and how it feels like being the minority national and racial group. Back where I belong, I always stand with the people at the longest line.
Living independently was what I dreamt of when I was younger. I thought I knew about the downside of freedom and standing on my own feet. Now I know that there’re no loved ones to turn to when I am feeling down, no one to make decisions that are good for me and forces me to follow, no one that detects firsthand that I ain’t in the best condition. It’s so reassuring having family and friends around you that you know can and will reach out to you without second thought when you need help, and simply just be there for you, not ten thousand miles away. As the Chinese saying “yuan shui jiu bu liao jing huo” goes, it’s nice for them to be there, but they cant really help much due to the distance.
The other day I kept thinking of tourism sociology during work at snow shoe -the concept of people travelling. That thought kept running through my mind. People go away so that they can better appreciate what they have when they return. I too, believe we all go away in search of what we are too blinded to see when we are in our comfort zones. To be grateful for what we have and where we belong, or MORE thankful for all that we have. The opportunity to go away, the option that is free for us to choose. Seems like sometimes we go in search of freedom only to realise at the end of the day that we want to be where things seem to be restricted, where the start and the heart is- home. Everyone can live alone, I can too. But given a choice, I definitely don’t and won’t want to.
Have always thought of myself as someone independent and being able to take care of myself but when left alone, I go into this state of helplessness. Then I remember a particular point that Prof. Lim mentioned. Some concept on self helplessness, something about social support I think… This job gives me so much time to ponder that I am able to see the bigger picture and actually fit what I learnt into the mundane happenings. From what was taught in ops, about how JIT came about, the underlying concepts behind The Goal; what matters ultimately is to maximise the ENTIRE supply chain, and not simply maximising individual’s department because by focusing on the various departments the supply chain will NEVER be operating at its optimal. So when I was making beds, and hearing supervisor saying over the walkie to get us to go strip a particular room when we were doing something else and following their command will most certainly result in downtime of at least 10-15 minutes, I was shaking my head and thinking why don’t these people go back to school and learn through concepts that by doing what is logical ALL THE TIME does not necessarily means that they are always doing the right thing.
Not only that, I thought of concepts like JIT and RFID when inventory (the necessary evil) becomes a BIG issue on site. They have boxes of past years stock of products lying in the shed and taking up so much space, and they apply the FIFO method for inventory management. That means that every year, the establishment is simply utilising OLD OLD stock while placing orders for current year’s products. That means that no matter how long this place is going to be in business, they will always be using old stuff that never seem to run out. So I wonder if any of them has EVER been through college or even appropriate training. Don’t any of them know about writing off stuff that has little or no value to the organisation (especially the accounting department!!). and they actually do stock count at the end of the season for every single item they have, including pens! So what is RFID for huh? Plus I certainly have lots to say about their management skills. So I reckon none of them has been through management classes for they have absolutely no idea about human resource management, and that in THIS century people management is of utmost importance to every organisation. That is in addition to the fact that retaining and motivating staff should be the underlying goal (especially so for service sector) as it is the staff that provides the thing that they are selling and the thing that determines the quality of work produced. And haven they heard of Ron Kraufman -the service guru that mentioned that internal guests are as important or even more important as external guests? (and I learnt that in poly!) And being staff and internal customers of an organisation, shouldn’t we be treated with a little more respect and understanding? They must get it in their heads that this is not a factory that they’re running here. Operation is all about tackling the everyday challenges that does not run on clockwork. And that, is the beauty of ops. If they can’t see it, then sadly they will never enjoy this industry, and maybe they shouldn’t be here.
I’m so glad I have the chance to go through business communications to know more about dealing with people of other cultures. That there are people who live in other parts of the world and leading lifestyles that are vastly different and we have to be more sensitive, forgiving and understanding. That is what we all have to learn as the world gets smaller through globalisation. That is what people living in the nation where most other from the rest of the world thinks is THE superpower must start to be aware of. They’re lagging behind while the rest of the world catches up. Soon they’ll find themselves like frogs thinking that the sky is only as big as it looks from the bottom of the well.
We’re all not so different from one another. We live and we die. We go to places to start anew or find our pasts. We ponder lots and we stand by our beliefs. By chance (and choice) we end up meeting. As our paths crossed, shouldn’t we be kinder to one another? I think the world has enough misery to last a millennium and it’s a fact that I don’t plan to fly ten thousand miles here to be in a worse state than back home. For once I am sure that I will return a much better person. Let’s just wait and see.
July 5th 14:29 24th consecutive day
It’s my last day working at snow-shoe motel and as with all farewells, my mood plunges like never before. And the phone call in the morning certainly aids in the gloominess, so work didn’t really go as planned. I ended work early today, for things don’t seem to go right. I have no idea if Candy was irritated because we are leaving after joining them for such a short time or that the issue of requesting for someone to stand in for tomorrow frustrates her on top of that. Anyway, it doesn’t matter no more.
Have been waiting for mom and dad to call since the last conversation, which was like more than a week ago. I really dislike it when I waited, and waited, and waited and no call came. And I hate it when people get my hopes high then don’t deliver. I prefer the underpromise-overdeliver kinda situation and have always thought of the phrase “aim for the moon for at least you’ll land among the stars” bullshit. Aim low-ER so that the euphoria will be tons better if you scale expectations.
It doesn’t help that the internet connection is down for what seems like eternity and it felt (and still feels like) I lost contact with the rest of the world stuck in this place. My calling card is officially down to ONE miserable minute of talk time, which is approximately the time taken to connect the call and say “hello! Can you hear me? Hello? HELLO? Can call me back? My card is running out of minutes!” ARGH.
Being in such a place and feeling like that makes me claustrophobic. Like the world seems confine. MY world.
Anyway, back to the call from Mom and Dad, have been waiting for updates from them just to know that everyone’s fine and things are “as usual”. I don’t want to hear that something unexpected happen when I’m away. Call me selfish, but I want to be there for every single moment (good AND bad) and situation that happen. That’s what being family is for. Sharing moments. And I don’t want to miss any of it. Called them in the morning before work and got to know that they tried calling but cant seem to connect the call using calling cards. So dad used his cell phone and yep. The usual yadaa yadaa- which I find oddly comforting.
There’s always the moments after I hang up a call whereby I’ll just sit while the seconds tick by with thoughts and emotions suddenly gushing up from nowhere. I have no idea if that happens coz my mind cant process information (not fast enough anyway) when I’m listening or in a conversation so things happen in sonic speed during the silent aftermath. The same goes for today. I found myself staring into space with a million thoughts running through my mind at 8. The good thing is, chef Selvy made sunnyside up for bfast. It’s the FIRST whole egg I had in 2 months! And You have no idea how an egg can make me feel so much better just because it is one of the comfort food.
